I AND THE 'OTHER'

I somehow had the habit of letter-writing. Letters contain letters that possess some meaning in them as they are and that can be understood by literates in this world, though interpretations may differ depending on the psychological state of the reader in question or in general sense that can’t be questioned. You find the preceding sentence somewhat superficial, yea I like it. The modernity honors abstract notions and the profound words supporting them. So, recently I sent an introductory email to a girl, whose blogger profile was found on this site. She replied me promptly. You may wonder why I wrote to a girl, simply because a male likes a female in general and I am a common human being in this sense. I sent a very formal email to her and she replied that she found it somewhat ‘beyond the commonplace’. She likes to be informal in her correspondence to new fellows and I like to be the other way.

The very first reply from her set me in somewhat uneasy situation. Perhaps she would not have liked my words in the email. She wrote that she ‘likes to respond to my email rather than not to and that she does not appreciate mails from me’. Generally, this means she is indirectly cautioning me to be careful in dealing with her. Somehow I replied to her and she began to reply to me. Her language looks very modern and mine is almost opposite to hers. Slowly I began to like the words she is using. I could not help being formal in my writing pattern and yet I liked the informality in her emails. This is how one can be an acceptable person to the other in course of time. I mean quite odd or extraordinary things of today may look quite common and interesting things tomorrow. All that is required is being open minded and positive in our attitude. We can’t always expect others to be good and appreciable toward us. The depth of our perception or the distinctiveness of our personality depends on our ability in dealing with new fellows, mostly with opposite gender.

She went to the US to attend a project work on behalf of her organization in Hyderabad. She has been there for about two months and is returning in the first week of December 2005 to Hyderabad. I did not see her photo and yet I found her replies interesting, simply because she is putting forward some argument defending herself from my argumentative emails. The seriousness or depth of the points she was presenting looked secondary to me and whether she was replying to me or not assumed the position of primary concern as days progressed. So, this implies that human beings are naturally good in their nature and that they slowly begin to like others despite the differences of opinion between or among them. This is how friendships and relationships are flourishing in this world. One is required to like others and one should give much importance to others despite knowing the fact that the other has no that much concern for the one in question. This is how we can go a bit ahead in our network of bonds with fellow humans. The more we are narrow in our outlook the more we distance ourselves from others.

It is not great if one is happily spending with one’s parents, relatives, schoolmates and colleagues. One’s worth depends on being known to ‘others’ and being a part of them for some time at least. We can’t experience novelty of life unless we interact with others. Others would mostly be acceptable to us if we are a bit patient and broad-minded initially. We should be able to sustain the relationship with a selfless and unbiased heart. I sent her my photo to allow her to understand me with a visible sensibility. I did not expect her to do the same. She sent me somewhat short emails and yet I sent long and interesting mails to her. She has no time and I have. I should spend much time for her despite knowing that she can’t or doesn’t. I tried to make my mails interesting simply taking every point she touches seriously. When she thinks that I am spending some time and using some brain to respond to her, she naturally finds me as an acceptable guy. I developed a sort of attachment with her emails, not the person. This means that words also mean a lot to us when they have a bit of substance in them and when they are created by somebody that has a bit of concern for us in some sense.

Based on her emails, I presumed that she represents the modern society in some sense. I am not supposed to distance myself from her taking her as ‘superficial’. I should assign much value to her and then only I can find her interesting. We like films, flowers, animals, celebrities and the wonders of the world. In this process, we fail to appreciate the humans that are in our familiarity or access in a realistic sense. This is how we miss the taste of life in a practical manner. The moment we begin to respect others as they are, they look great. The more we criticize others, the more we go shallow. If we have the guts, we have to reform the bad. Otherwise, we had better at least appreciate the good ones. Majority do neither of these two. They always find faults in others. I am trying to be the other, somebody that likes to like as many people as possible. This demands maturity on part of the agents involved. I am struggling to be mature on my part. This means not underestimating anything or anybody in this world unless we have solid proof with us in that regard.

She is an important person to me in ‘some sense’. This is because she spent some time for me unlike the others (about six billion people), who rarely care for me despite knowing that I am a part of them. I do not reveal you her name for two reasons. Firstly because you are not interested in such ‘trivial’ things of the world and secondly because she likes privacy as a girl. She likes me as a human being and she did not authorize me to tell her name to anybody beyond her knowledge. I am trying to see her as a ‘valuable’ person in this regard. I am walking toward the goal ‘being an acceptable human being to many’. Others can join me. Of course, there are few for you take words as words. The world would have been a heaven if everybody tried to take words into action, not bad words, good words of course. One can know what is ‘good’ if one is not basically ‘bad’. This leads you into a chaotic end and that is what I wanted. Stopping you there, where you can’t avoid thinking on your own.

Datla Chiranjeevi Raju