COSTLY COMPANY

It was 7:30 p.m. on September 8, 2001. Professor Gurbaksh Singh Hall in the HCU was already full with the students of M.A.English. I was one of the senior students giving “Welcome Party” to our juniors. Girls were shining with their attractive dresses and the boys were silently admiring their considerable beauty.

Eating and cultural programs of small size were over. The ultimate dance program would start within a few minutes.

Nihari had just entered the hall in her gorgeous attire along with her brother. Boys could not dare look at her because the brilliance of beauty and the command of sensitivity dancing in her cute face were simply killing them internally. I ventured to look at her and started eating her with my thirsty eyes of admiration. When the dance event was started, she joined it. My eyes stopped blinking because a goddess of exceptional beauty was rocking the show with her absorbing dance movements in jeans and T-shirt (she changed her dress before the dance program). I thanked God for allowing me to see such an angel of beauty on the evening hours of one of my birthdays. Her younger brother, who is my close friend and classmate, was also dancing crazily. I remembered Prabu Deva, the famous South Indian Choreographer. The program was over around 4:00 a.m. We moved to our respective abodes of rest.

I could not forget her. I felt like making her love me and marry me. I could become her friend within one month with my best efforts investing my creativity and intelligence. I started going to their house in the city. I was enjoying her closeness and fondness for me. I spent about 5,000 rupees to express my sense of love for her when I considered one rupee 100 rupees based on my personal financial status then. Offered her special homemade sweets, gifted her electronic gadgets, interviewed her using a Walkman, photographed her for 72 times in her apartment in her spectacular dresses and endearing poses. She wore a nightie during one shooting event without my suggestion or request only to please me because I previously told her that I like to see a beautiful girl in a nightie.

Slowly I understood that she was trying to establish herself in the Telugu film industry. I ran after her, admired her, aspired to marry her and there was no much initiative from her side. I realized this well on 8 September, 2002, when I went to her abode with two tins of homemade sweets made by my maternal aunt. She did not talk with me even for one minute that morning, clearly knowing that I came down from Visakhapatnam to Hyderabad only to see her. I removed myself from the testing net of her friendship and admiration within a few weeks that followed. I sent back all her photos, interview cassettes and other things that make me love her if they remain with me.

We remained aliens for the last four years. She acted in some Telugu, Malayalam and Tamil films. Presently she is acting in Telugu serials and other programs. Her principal goal is to become a famous heroine. Unfortunately she did not get good chances so far to prove her talent as an artist. I regret it. I felt guilty and stopped my communication with her brother also who is very intelligent and good-natured.

I am a mad admirer of dance being performed by any damsel of beauty. She worships many Hindu gods and goddesses every morning for about one hour or so. Her mother left her government job to help her daughter in realizing her dream. My serious admiration and passive attachment with her went on only for one year. It started on my birthday and it ended on my following birthday.

My parents, brothers, some of my relatives and friends know about this episode of realistic admiration in my life. I touched her only twice with my right hand; once to adjust the end of her jeans pant when she was in a flat position in the sofa for the photo and secondly shaking my right hand with hers as a gesture of friendship upon her request.

I allotted her the position of goddess in my life because she too loved me and spent some time for me.

Recently I got a very rich friend. He earns 60 lakhs a year. One day I told him about my admiration for Nihari. He said, “I can make her dance nakedly before you if you can spend 25,000 rupees per night. The broker takes part of it and the rest is hers. This is her present rate in the beautiful flesh industry. She would have been your sweetheart once but not now. Anybody with enough money and passionate desire for the delight of arresting flesh can taste her now. She earns extra income this way. A number of impressive celebrities are on offer. Earn enough money or fame and then explore the scene. Exceptional beauties queue up around your house. Female beauty is a commodity. Idiotic and stupid blokes like you name it admiration and start running after girls with the intention of marriage. She loves your money and social status and not your bloody admiration serial and marriage proposal. Come out from your age-old beliefs and assessment about the modern girls. When there is energy in your body and lust in your spirit, use them to explore the depths of pleasures of female company, and when you become old, forget to attract them honestly. By now could you understand what your sweet Nihari stands for?! Never talk such nonsense and rubbish with me because I hate nuts and simpletons being my close friends”.

I did not stop being his friend because he explained me a reality he is very familiar with and thus made me a bit clever, not cruel or bad. Still I love Nihari. Poor girl, she cannot do anything other than conforming to the industry expectations to become famous as a heroine one day. If I ever get a chance to meet her, I would rest my head on her feet and say sadly, “I love you”. I would certainly cry when saying these words with her because my goddess of beauty, whom I admired madly for one year, has become a public property now. She is accessible and enjoyable by everybody that has bundles of money or fame in some field.

There are tens of female artistes in some localities of the twin cities being ready to sleep with any rich fellow just for money or a chance in the films; struggle for existence or ambition for fame, we can call. The only difference is that my sweetheart is a rich commodity because her rate is a bit high. Don’t you guys and girls think that it is going to be a costly company?

Datla Chiranjeevi Raju