WIDENING GAPS

What I observed among many in the present society is "widening gaps". It happens when we fail to understand others rationally or ideally. We are different from many living around us. We must be able to love others as they are in case we are unable to change them. We must think 10 times before blaming others and once only before admiring or appreciating others. Accepting blame is difficult but enjoying appreciation is very easy for many of us.

Let me give you a few examples:

1. My parents mostly wanted me to live the way they wanted but they could enjoy my being their son only in such contexts wherein they were ready to accept my way of life also. Mutual understanding and cooperation work wonders at family level also.

2. I have great relationships with my brothers, relatives and friends because mostly they are based on unconditional love. Trying to understand them from their perspective and enjoying their differences from me. I should not expect others always to think and act like me.

3. I did not like many of my teachers at various stages of my education for 17 years because what I expected from them was different from what they could give me. In course of time I understood that I should love them because they did not spoil my life as a student. Perhaps they did not deliver up to my expectations. They might be helpless for some reasons. I should manage to love them. I should accord a good status and image to them in my heart as honorable entities. I did it. I am happy with it. Loving our teachers and well-wishers for what they are is good no!

4. I loved/admired many (beautiful) girls and desired to marry one of them. I delivered my message to them in a manner I was familiar with. There was no positive/any response from many of them. At the same time, they did not hurt me with their offensive or insulting response as well. It meant, if I had 10 reasons to love them and expect positive response from them, there would have been at least one reason on their part for why they could not respond to me positively. I must consider them from that perspective. Now I am happy recollecting my efforts to be loved by girls. My admiration for them was unconditional. They had choice to accept or reject my voice or preference. It is partly related to unconditional love.

5. I am an admirer of beauty at the core. Since I am a healthy male, I naturally find beautiful girls and women more attractive and admirable than men with similar qualities. "See and enjoy" must be my policy in this respect because God created so much of human beauty also around me to keep me happy as an admirer, not as a criminal, who chooses to grab something by force. The moment I am clear on the stand I need to exert toward other beauties around me, I am safe and happy to a great extent. Others that go against this idealist view, get entrapped by police or society at some stage of their progression toward a bad way of existence and behavior with others. It means one should take an idealist view in accepting and admiring others proactively to feel a sense of belongingness with all. Others might not care for you for various reasons. Still there is space for you to love them proactively without expecting their reaction or notice of what you are feeling or thinking toward them. It makes you one among many despite their negligence toward you. You must know how to connect with others instead of going away from them.

6. I love pups, cats, sheep, goats and many other creatures. I may not be a devoted dog lover like Sakshi because my being busy in some other things does not allow me to be attentive toward any one particular set of creatures. I enjoy observing the beauty of innocence in the eyes of many animals and birds that come across me in different areas. It means I am in touch with them. Touch is the source of happiness. Bad touches (which are considered sinful or evil by your active conscience if you allowed it to act) yield grief to us in the long run. We can easily avoid them using our common sense and applying our power of rational thinking. We should not build walls around us but break them. It integrates us with others.

7. Many often tell me why I should not go to some people or do some things to be safe on my part. I avoid meeting people or being in psychic attachment with some others only when I consider it right from my perspective. I know what I am. I should know what to do in many instances despite others' advice or warning to me to do the contrary. Before distancing myself from others, I should consider one simple truth, "If there are 99 reasons for why I should avoid somebody or something, perhaps there might be one reason for why I should be with that person or thing, physically or mentally. I can be close to it or him or her based on that one reason only. Integration is beauty. Disintegration is ugliness and evil. My vote is for beauty only. I want him/her/it". This is how we can be good at understanding and retaining friendship, love and admiration for many. The feeling that we belong to many at some level for some reason is strength. We need it. The imagination that many are neglecting/misunderstanding/underestimating us is a source of many confusions and the related sense of insecurity and restlessness. We must avoid it in every possible way we can manage.

8. In many cases, what I found was that lack of a dialogue led to the collapse of a relationship or friendship or love. A person might have scolded you 100 times or you would have done such a wrong thing toward him or her but there is still time to tell him or her, "I am sorry. It happened out of my ignorance or arrogance. I want you to be my friend/lover. Talk to me. I miss you". This works wonders. At least, it lessens the burden on your heart because you can assure yourself that you did your part to fill the gap. You played your role to break the silence. This is the foundation for harmonious relationships among humans. Unfortunately many are not doing it now. They are building walls, instead of breaking them.

In the eight instances given above, you find that stopping widening gaps is important in life rather than distancing ourselves from many persons and things. Belong to many. It is your power. You should know how to manage this skill.

Let's help ourselves and others avoid widening gaps and start uniting with many for unity and happiness.

Barack Obama must plan and act honestly to rebuild the US economy and lead the other nations with love, trust, honesty and openness. A dictator controls others scaring them and cheating them from many fronts, directly or indirectly. A humanitarian saves and guides many aiming at universal fraternity and prosperity. Obama is going to play this role of idealism and vision.

Political leaders and companies representing India must realize the fact that sustainable development and admirable state of peace across the nation would be possible only when they do things fairly and openly. Cheating is sin. Every politician and employer does receive the pain of that sin and crime one day or the other. Ramalinga Raju of Satyam Computers already received the results. It happened to the earstwhile CMs in Maharashtra and Jharkand. The list is big. You can dig it with a little effort. Sins and crimes committed by us chase us restlessly. We can avoid it. The only way out is to be in touch with good people, good principles and good way of living as a person and professional. Bridging gaps is more important than achieving progress at our level in any manner we like.

There are widening gaps between people and states and nations.

A clash in the family disturbs that family and ruins those relationships.

A misunderstanding in a society spoils the image and unity of that society.

A malpractice in a business venture affects its progress at some stage.

A bad rule in a state impoverishes its people and disfigures its places in a great manner.

A setup of things meant to cheat and misguide many in a nation kills its spirit in the long run.

The lesson to be learnt is to know how to fill widening gaps. Companies need to be honest and fair toward their employees, always. Banks need to be trustworthy and humanitarian toward their existing and prospective customers, always. Governments need to be accountable and honest toward their subjects and strive for their overall development, always. Consistency is important. We must practice a virtue always toward all, not only toward some for some selfish motives.

We can do it. Being proactive is not a crime in doing and supporting good things.

We can achieve it. Walking together with great people can't be a wrong initiative.

Nobody in this world is useless. The power lies in knowing how we can be useful to us or others.

Datla Chiranjeevi Raju

Hyderabad

23 January 2009

4:15 PM IST.