AS A BLOGGER AND DREAMER

I started this blog site (there are many blogs on this site and so blog site. Somehow I don't like to call it a blog as many tend to do) sometime around May 2005. My journey has been exciting on it so far. It provided me with a platform to let others know what I feel and think about some things.

I posted many things related to my personal life also on this blog site because I think I am a dreamer and a dreamer should not hesitate to share the accounts of his life with other human beings because he loves to understand and follow universal fraternity in his life also.

By 6:OO PM IST on 24 September, 2010, the page impressions this blog site of mine received is 24,500. I believe many of them are repeat visits by those few who like to read what I write now and then. I don't have any data regarding who is visiting my site and from which place on this earth planet.

The AdSense income I could earn till now is $19.98. It is very negligible. I don't mind it. They send it to me when it amounts to $100. If this trend goes like this, I may get it around 2020 or so! I am not serious with Google folks or my blog readers in this regard. Google posts ads there because they need a little money to provide all those free services to folks like me. You do not click on those ads because they are not relevant to you. My blog readers are intelligent folks. How can I expect them to do all unnecessary things killing more of their time on my blog site?

I think my blog readers are sensitive, intelligent and visionary, some of them at least. Such guys and girls only like my writings and so visit it frequently. I also presume that they inculcate these characteristics in course of time, after reading many blogs on this site. It is my intended purpose in creating and running this journey of blogging as well. I love my blog readers, based on page impressions. I am writing for them to read it. So, the more others read it, the more I feel delighted and inspired as a dreamer.

I did not put some features on this blog site whereby I can clearly understand who is visiting my blog site. I think many of my blog readers prefer anonymity. They don't like to be known by me. They are such highly refined, shy and introvert creatures. I often wonder at the qualities of these silent and decent entities, visiting my blog site, without allowing me to know who they are.

I allowed anybody to comment on my blogs because openness and honesty on our part as an individual allows others to understand and trust us more. I provided my cellular phone number also on this blog site. Many like to talk with us when we are inaccessible to them in many respects. If we keep our doors open and stand on road looking at others, very few find it interesting to come to our house and do something because there is no secrecy hidden in it. I rely on this facet of typical human psychology. Appear to all. You can remain peaceful that way. Do not hide yourself if you think that you are not a cheat, criminal or thief of some sort, the identity of which you don't like to be known by others.

I think many can instantly access my blog site when I post a blog or comment over here. I am not good at these RSS feeds or such related stuff to promote my blog site proactively or energetically. Many great people are writing great stuff on their blog sites and other websites as well. Aamir Khan is a very handsome, intelligent, visionary and creative entity in this regard. I still find him as a gentleman of 25 years or so. I think he did not grow up physically. Short-term memory loss problem is anyway there in him as we find him in his Gajini avatar! I also love Shah Rukh Khan for his character and behavior anywhere. He is a very decent man according to my understanding. Amitabh Bachchan is undoubtedly a man of standards and values which many Indians appreciate deeply, including me. I did not visit the blogs of these admirable people because they write good things and others should read them more than me because I am also doing similar work on my blog site here. Above all, I get very little time to read other blogs beyond my work at home right now. In future, I would explore more.

I posted the photos of many creatures on this blog site, without seeking their permission for it. I am an admirer of beauty. Since I am a man, I generally tend to get attracted toward girls and women more. This is why I posted their photos on this site. I presume they enjoy being showcased on my blog site. This is just my blind belief. A bee searches for honey in flowers. A sultry frog hurriedly jumps into a cool water body. A beautiful, sensitive and sensible girl or woman must feel proud and delighted to see her photo or mention on my blog site because I am not a stupid or dangerous entity essentially.

I deleted many blogs so far from this blog site. I think my blog readers can't read so much of content on this blog site. This measure is to meet that need only.

Saakshi O Juneja of Mumbai played with me like anything as a blogger once. I felt much disturbed and hurt reading those comments by her lot of followers on her blog site then but later I understood that she is really an admirable creature. I always like to sustain that opinion about her. Modern girls blast others instantly if they find something wrong in them according to their set of standards and values as individuals or professionals. If Saakshi blasted me that time, it is because of this tendency only in her. She spent some time thinking and writing for me. She is a beautiful, intelligent and sensitive girl. So, I can't miss her as my great platonic friend. In fact, all my great friends, females especially, are those that found me abnormal and eccentric initially. They take time to understand me. Many bad boys and men in this nation made them so, including me! I approached many of them quite irrationally and roughly because I enjoyed that basic but hidden instinct in me when doing so. Love is blind! Saakshi stopped blogging for some time now. I presume she is deeply disturbed somewhere in the core of her psyche for some reason, partly or fully associated with me. Time may or may not heal her! India needs such honest and open challengers. I am also one of them. I hope she wakes up one day and shoots her sharp and casual arrows of thoughts and opinions energetically again at all of us!

Lahari, one of the beauties I admired and intended to marry once, called me "psycho" when I wrote a piece of poetry in Telugu very angrily addressing her. I wanted to change her. She instructed me to get out. This clarification is necessary because you may think that I addressed some of you girls that way. You girls are really great! You never used such words addressing me! In fact, I enjoy such words from girls addressing me because I did not enjoy such rough love from girls in my life so far but I ran after them like a loyal and crazy dog! I enjoyed sensitive and decent love from some girls. They never addressed me with any words but mostly surprised and disturbed me with their silence. Perhaps, they might have thought, "Why should we throw a stone at such a dog? It barks at us for a while and goes away!”

When the husband of Swagata instructed me to delete stuff related to her, over phone, one day, I really felt shocked for a few minutes because he has authority upon her as her fiancé then and her husband now to talk with me so. Admirers can be mad and illogical but husbands can't be so always, especially those living and working in India. Our society is very bad when it comes to understanding and commenting about beauties, not related to our community, language, religion or region, in particular. My telepathy platform informed me that Swagata still admires me as a good creature, more so after reading the foreword in my first book, dedicated to her. I wrote exactly what happened then. I did not like to kill a good and beautiful truth writing it differently for it. Her husband need not get hurt now or in future because I followed her madly but she responded to me just like any modern Indian girl does. I am very happy for dedicating this book to Swagata and also because this book came out well in look also. When I saw Swagata earlier, she looked very beautiful to my eyes. I don't know how she is now. She has nominal online presence now. I know where she is working. That's it. I don't know who her husband is and what he is doing. They may think that it is not my business. I am very scared of such remarks and comments from those whom I consider decent and considerable for some reasons.

Deepthi proved highly mysterious girl in my life so far. If some girl admired me the way I admired her before the entry of Swagata into my world of innocent and rapid admiration, I would have fallen on her feet and beg her to do anything she likes in relation to me. I still wonder to imagine how Deepthi could regulate herself in this regard. I did so much toward her in terms of letters and emails, one after one, for about two months, but she remained silent and decent like ever before. It is a miracle for me. One in a million can maintain that state of mind in such circumstances. You will agree with me after reading my second book centered on my admiration and emails to her before the entry of Swagata into our office. I admire this creature for this reason. My question always in relation to her is "How could she remain away neglecting me that badly?". She is really a mystery to me even to this date. She is not in direct touch with me now. She deleted her email account also some time ago being unable to bear with my proactive communication flow or some other reason. I presume she is reading my blog site regularly.

I love or hate so many people and things for some reasons. I express only part of it on my blog site due to time constraints and other influencing factors in the contemporary Indian society where idiots are being admired and great people are being neglected. Anyhow, one can understand me 90% reading a few posts I put on this blog site. It is necessary. Others should understand us first. Then only they can blast or appreciate us. Both are necessary for one to grow as a distinct individual.

I type very fast on a computer because I learnt it when I was a 12th standard student. I think everybody should learn typing on that machine only, not on computers. If you can type faster, you can type out and reach your messages effectively to others, happily and comfortably, not searching for buttons like a helpless crane for fish in a pond, every time you want to type out something.

My little son Anand often comes to me and expresses his intuition to do something on my computer keyboard. We can consider it imitation tendency in children.

One day my wife Srijana told me that she had a dream in which Anand was also writing something criticizing my father. I wrote very badly about my father in my personal diaries because I did not like his character and behavior toward me or my two brothers as a father. I did not change that content at all in my diaries because I should not kill a truth I experienced as a child. Now I am not serious with him because it is my Indian role to love him despite his shortcomings as a father once. He still loves money more than my mother, my two brothers or me. He did not change much. So, I changed a little to find him acceptable and lovable because a son should do it toward his father according to the core Indian culture.

I felt like sharing something more with you as a blogger and dreamer at personal level. Some of them may look irrelevant in this context. I think they all somehow fit somewhere into something I like or dislike. Bear with me!