DEAR SISIR

Dear Sisir,

It was one year ago, on 17 July 2011, by 10:30 a.m., you were born into this material world as a beautiful creature. You left us by 4:00 p.m. on 25 September, 2011. You planned and executed your short stay perfectly. It must be part of your Karmic schedule. Souls take different births and desert those material abodes of existence as per their destiny. I don’t know when and how a soul starts and ends its journey. It’s a mystery of occurrences devised and directed by God. I am playing a nominal role in this universe of many wonders and puzzles.

I have been observing many births and deaths around me every day but not worrying much about them because I am selfish as a materialist. I always think about those that belong to me closely. I felt blissful seeing your beauty because I have been an admirer of beauty for long. Later I understood that you visited me to teach me a lesson. Humans understand the essence of this life better when they are filled with remorse and pain than with comforts and happiness. I wanted to see you as a healthy, beautiful and successful creature growing up towards a perfect human being. This is typical spirit of millions of parents in this material world. They know that nothing is permanent in this world but develop a deep network of relationships and attachments with many phenomena in this world. They suffer a lot when death approaches them to separate them from all those material bonds. Death remained as the biggest challenge to humanity because they cannot win it. It defeats them always.

I believe that those with a heavy load of sins committed in their previous births live longer and undergo different phases of life with pain and suffering. Great souls live shorter and detach themselves from these material attachments quickly. It’s part of their evolution from ignorance to intelligence and temporary happiness to permanent bliss. Death is like leaving an old set of clothes and wearing a new one for spiritualists. Materialists also know this truth but they cannot withstand the pain of loss occurring in their lives this way.

How and when does a soul decide to take a birth? Can it choose its place of birth based on its Karma? Where does a soul go soon after deserting its material body? Is there a God or supernatural power supervising the schedules of millions of souls in this universe? Where does He live? How does He appear? Why can’t ordinary human beings understand the mystery of this universe? Why does God remain intangible and inaccessible to creatures in this universe? Who is managing the process of rotation of earth planet continuously and its simultaneous run around sun? Why the availability of oxygen only up to a point of distance in atmosphere? How are trees bearing flowers and fruit perfectly depending on their seasons every year?

Sensitive and helpless humans encounter different questions in their lives. They don’t get reliable and comprehensible answers to many of those questions, which help them understand the secrets of life and death. Ignorance makes man foolish and selfish. We love many things and creatures deeply ignoring the fact that they desert us soon. We develop different kinds of qualities, emotions and passions thinking and acting selfishly towards others. We think we are different from others. The fact is all are equal in this universe. Pain and suffering are inseparable elements of life on this earth. No creature is happy here. Nobody knows where he goes after death.

How can I express my sense of loss and pain caused due to your departure from this world earlier than visualized? I cried on the day of your departure. I did not cry for you afterwards because it must be the role of a creature, who partly understood the reality of births and deaths in this abode. As a spiritualist, one should not develop bond with anybody or anything strongly in this world. As a materialist, one cannot live meaningfully without developing deep bonds with many things in this universe. When I think that I don’t belong to anything here, I cannot love or hate anything. It’s a dull life with zero passion for entities and phenomena of this material world. Such life looks boring to God. So, He makes man crave for many things in this world. They struggle a lot for many possessions and attractions in their material lives. I took you like a jewel in my material life. I did not expect you to desert me that early. I don’t know about our short or long relationship as souls. When and where did we live closely earlier as bodies of passion and emotion? Where did we part? When do we meet again?

I finalized an inspiring name for you. I dreamt of your glorious life ahead of my material existence also. Man plans for 100 years for his children. The bond between parents and their children cannot be defined and described by anybody. I don’t know why parents love their children that deeply. They do anything for them irrationally and illogically. This phenomenon is more in India. Indians live and die for their children. They think and plan a lot for them throughout their lives. This is pure selfishness and foolishness. Such selfish and foolish creatures realize one day that nobody is permanent in this world. They sit around their dead bodies and cry a lot. They know that the value of a body without a soul in it is zero. We must move the lifeless entity to graveyard. Man chooses to suffer continuously believing in lies and shadows around him. What are you thinking about me understanding me from this perspective of an ordinary human being? In which form are you living now? Where are you now?

Life is like an interesting drama with talented artistes and attractive setting all around. Some are consuming alcohol to celebrate it. Some are dancing madly to beautify it. Some are neglecting it without interest in it. One without interest in one’s life does not die immediately despite his desire for it. One with deep attachments with many does not live long despite his choice for it. Life and death occur beyond our control. We must play our role between our birth and death. For the soul, inside the body, it’s an opportunity to grow spiritually and detest this cycle of births and deaths. It must crave for birthlessness and unity with God. Sinners love material world and keep suffering in it taking a number of births and deaths. Saints love God and spend in His blissful world. You know these truths. You left me early to make me realize these truths better. You played the role of a guest in my life. You are such a guest in my life whom I always remember. Your life in relation to my material body may be short but my memories attached to that small phase of your material existence are deeper and strong.

Many creatures are suffering deeply in this world recollecting the deaths of their dearest ones. Some are committing suicides due to their failures in love and such other material relationships. I wonder to observe the acts of these innocent creatures. We take births to undergo pains related to our souls. Life means pain, struggle and suffering. We toil to make it happy artificially. When the essence of life on this earth is gloom, how can we turn it into heaven? We should not terminate our life by choice because we should live our Karma completely in every body we take as per our schedule. It’s like spending our money saved in our bank account. If we deposited much, we can withdraw more. If we have a little only in it, we can take back that much only. We should not close our account through our death but by transactions with our bank. We should live every phase of our life to clear the burdens of our soul. We can postpone the burden of our soul, but cannot erase it. It follows us.

Natural death is part of our natural life. Suicide is an artificial act and a heinous crime from the perspective of God. He expects every creature to play its destined role completely in this world. He has no special love or hatred towards any creature in this universe. He ensures that every creature is living and dying according to its Karma. He is like an ideal bank manager. He does not give you, which does not belong to you, and He does not take, which belongs to you. You must spend your Karma. He manages this process as an impartial entity. We should not blame God for anything happening in our life because He is not responsible for it but we. It is the lesson you taught me.

My dear son, I have your photos and videos with me. I see them now and then to recollect the little past you had with us. My sense of loss keeps increasing in course of time. Pain in heart is like wine in a bottle. Its depth, value and essence keep improving along with the age of creature but never decrease. It’s my role to suffer thinking about you. I believe that you took another birth somewhere. Many souls are in this process. I believe that you are also one of such souls. Some have admirable past accounts. Some have pitiable spiritual accounts. Every soul must live as per the nature of its account. We cannot steal anything from other accounts nor lend part of ours to others. God is an omnipresent and omnipotent accounts manager. We cannot cheat and misguide Him.

I love you Sisir Kiran Varma. I love your beauty. I like your birth and the little role of existence with us. You visited and deserted us in such a way that nobody can criticize you. You kept everything plain and easily comprehensible before us. Your mother cannot write a letter like me. She does not know about the essence of human life as deeply as me. Your brother Anand Sagar Varma is not as intelligent and visionary as you. I am sending you love and best wishes on behalf of them also.

With tears,

Your former father,

Datla Chiranjeevi Raju.