MYSTERY OF ADMIRATION

Admiration is a rational or illogical feeling, emotion, sensation or notion of excessive or extraordinary love, respect, passion or inclination towards somebody or something. It may last for a second, a few hours, some days, many years or forever based on how it or he or she could/can influence or impress you. 

Generally we have more sense of admiration towards creatures of opposite gender than towards those of same gender because it’s the power of inevitable basic instinct inherent in us. Check whom you admire the most in your life! Many creatures of same gender might have also impressed you but you don’t mind their worth as much as you do with those of opposite gender to you. Liking the beauty or features of a co-passenger in a bus, train or airplane is your passing admiration. Soon, you would forget those moments. We regularly experience this feeling. 

Some people impress, influence and inspire you so much that you remember and admire them for a long period of time, if not for lifetime. It means they have those qualities, which you like the most or which you consider to be the best. It also implies that whom or what you think to be the best may seem to be negligible and worthless to many others. Admiration need not be logical always. It may be a result of your craziness or madness also. 

We admire many in our lives if we are actively engaged in our material life. It means we should have a strong sense of attachment for many creatures and phenomena related to this world or otherwise. Saints, yogis, mentally retarted people may not have admiration for anything or anybody because they are not ordinary human beings! 

In many cases, we expect some qualities to be always possessed or retained by one, whom we admire. Think that you loved a girl so deeply that you did not care for God also for some period of time. Later you understood that she does not have any of those qualities, which you thought she has. Your admiration falls down to zero after realization in many cases. Realization means knowing the absolute truth about something or somebody with or without your efforts. Unfortunately, we admire some creatures a lot, attributing many qualities, which we like personally, to them, without really checking whether they have those qualities or not. It means much of our admiration is baseless and senseless. If you are admiring anybody or anything after experiencing it for a long period of time, applying your rationality and idealism, it means that you are really an intelligent person. Foolish and stupid ones take minutes to start admiring somebody and seconds to forget them. It means ordinary people cannot assess the power and value of extraordinary people in most of the cases. Check why you are admiring Aiswarya Rai or Sachin Tendulkar but not Florence Nightingale or Albert Einstein. Who really contributed to a larger extent of humanity in such a way that message of ideal service or extraordinary contribution can be universal and everlasting. A real celebrity is one whose thoughts and actions serve humanity at large for decades or centuries. 

Most of us admire somebody or something for some reason or no reason but how many of us can express that sense of admiration to the one we admire deeply. I will cite my case here. I admire S P Bala Subrahmanyam because his lifestyle and songs keep influencing, inspiring and consoling me always. I admire Ilayaraja because his extraordinary music inspires me always. I admire Lord Krishna because I strongly believe that He is always guiding my life and I am nothing without his consideration and compassion for me. I wanted many times to meet SPB and Ilayaraja personally and give them something to express my sense of deep admiration for them but I could not do it till now. Then, Lord Krishna is not physically accessible to me. I have metaphysical and spiritual relation with Him. In most of the cases, we cannot meet those, whom we admire the most. Even if we can meet them, we cannot cent percent express our real sense of admiration to them in a material sense. In many cases, we do not even try to meet them. I explain some reasons for this attitude in all of us. They may be doubts and questions like: 

Does he/she really have time and interest to spend with me if I go there to meet him/her? 

I may be one of the many admirers he/she has and so he/she may not care for me much! 

I may lose my sense of admiration for him/her after meeting him/her because he/she may not have all those qualities, which I think he/she has, and so I had better continue with this imaginary state of admiration for him/her because I cannot bear if I have to psychologically detach him/her from me after realization! I cannot lose him/her. 

There is no need of expressing my admiration for something or somebody directly or indirectly. It is enough if I feel it. Admiration is not a materially measurable concept or feeling but sublime and metaphysical notion! 

I really don’t know how to express my deepest and greatest sense of admiration to him/her if he/she really comes across me or I meet him/her personally by effort. I feel nervous and remain voiceless in his/her presence. What a pity? Not being able to communicate with my source of inspiration! I am content with this state of admiration! 

He or she is easily accessible to me and so why bothering to meet him/her urgently. I can meet him/her some time! (Unfortunately, it never happens in many cases. We generally admire those, who are inaccessible and unaffordable for us but not easily accessible ones. We don’t care even if God is living in our neighborhood!) 

You can add more factors to this list of considerations based on your personal experiences. Mostly, the above are the reasons/blocks between us and those we are admiring. The irony is we are meeting so many idiots and loafers in almost every place in our regular life but not the one whom we admire the most. It means we know where the treasure is but we are hesitating to approach it. We remain in theory only in many cases but never get practical. Inquisitiveness, innovation and discovery are always more important than laziness, negligence or complacence. We grow knowing and realizing more and more but not taking everybody and everything for granted. 

We can, in some cases, express our sense of admiration to those whom we admire, if they happen to be human beings but what about animals, birds and other creatures. What about trees, lakes and valleys? 

Don’t we admire dogs, elephants, cows, sheep, deer… for their innocence and natural beauty? Can we express our sense of admiration to them spending with them for some time or providing them comfortable shelter or offering them food for some time or forever in our residences or elsewhere? Do governments really allow us to behave with them the way we like it. If we are approaching a deer in a zoo, does it mean that we are going to harm it? We may be going there to express our sense of love to it somehow? Do authorities allow us to do whatever we like with those animals in zoos or reserves or forests? Do those animals remain calm and balanced when we approach them to kiss or touch them affectionately? Why don’t they believe that all strangers to them do not really harm them like merciless hunters? Is this not a permanent gap/void between those innocent animals and our sense of deep admiration for them? This sense of inevitable gap and natural separation often disturbs me. 

The same is the case with birds also. We love many of them. They fly away from us the moment they sense our presence. We assumed the position of a permanent villain to them in their minds. They don’t behave freely and fearlessly with us unless we spend a long period of time with them affectionately and it is not possible for us in many cases. We may see a beautiful bird or animal in a zoo in a foreign country and we may feel like kissing it but they don’t allow us to do it. We may never go back to that place again and even if we go there that creature may not be there like before! Separation took place forever! This is universal phenomenon affecting humanity. 

What about our love for plants, trees, stones, rocks, lakes, seas, oceans, mountains, mist, summer, winter, sky? How do we communicate our sense of admiration to them? If I write a piece of poetry on the beauty of winter, does it feel it? The readers or listeners of my poetry may visualize it. It means I love one thing and somebody else is feeling it, not my target creature or phenomenon! What is this illogical and ironical network of ‘admiration sharing’ in this world! I love Nita but Rita feels that love because Nita only read my love letters meant for Nita! 

Then, should we find our life meaningful and special only if we admire somebody or something! Can’t we achieve anything worthwhile without getting inspiration from somebody or something we know or imagine! Or, should we assess the worth of our life only from the perspective of achievements, goals and admiration. Should we be admired by somebody for what we did! I think nothing of it is necessary. It is enough if we can live as good human beings always. We need not get inspiration from anything or anybody. God equipped us with every kind of equipment and facilities required to live as good human beings and that is what He precisely expects from us. 

The qualities of a good human being, whom we can consider as an individual (one that has an individuality of one’s own) may be as follows: 

He/she does not hurt anybody or anything knowingly by his/her words or actions. (Remember, there is no harm if you are somewhat bad in your thoughts and imaginations. It is enough if you can control yourself from getting into action due to the impact of those evil thoughts and imaginations). 

He/she always fulfills his/her responsibilities honestly and perfectly in time without making much fuss of it. In other words, he/she is a silent achiever. (In fact, every family, society, region and nation needs such ones only no!) 

He/she talks less and works more (Many of us talk a lot of nonsense about many people and things around us without the virtues of self-analysis and self-criticism. First I must focus on improving myself in every possible way instead of wasting time in finding faults in others and criticizing everybody regularly. In case I am the best at my level, I may criticize the evil ones around me because constructive criticism is also important to change others). 

He/she expects very little from others and tries to offer more (Realize that we can enjoy the state and status of giving something useful and pleasant to others rather than taking something from others always. We can feel proud and satisfied giving knowledge, money, information, advice, guidance, help to others always but how many of us are doing something of this order regularly. It may be a glass of water but it saves a life when the other is ready to die because of thirst! It may be one dose of blood donation but it saves the life of a serious patient on bed). 

He/she considers everything in this world very precious and so does not disuse/misuse anything (if we check our personal and professional lives, we are experts in wasting and misusing many number of valuable resources around us. We misuse water, fuel, money, clothes, books, knowledge, electricity, food, facilities, roads, vehicles…what not! Always question and alert yourself ‘Am I misusing anything now! I should avoid it immediately’. Save something useful if you cannot invent novel things for others. Thus you are contributing to the comfort and happiness of others, directly or indirectly. To that extent, you can appreciate yourself every day!) 

He/she is ideal/visionary in many simple things also he/she does every day and night (idealists and visionaries are those, who behave sensibly, sensitively, intelligently and ideally every single moment, not once a week or so. Idealism means thinking and working for others also now and then or always based on your energy and possibility. Many of us think that our parents are idealists because they are thinking and working for us but it is not right. How much are they really thinking and working to do something good for ‘others’, not for their sons, daughters, relatives and well-wishers? Unfortunately most of our parents are ‘businessmen’, not idealists. If they are idealists, why the problems of dowry, domestic violence, suicides, rapes, thefts and murders in our society? Because they are thinking and behaving like businessmen do, they are getting such results only. You reap what you sow!). 

He/she applies common sense and civic sense in most of the things he/she does. (Allowing our brain to work is important based on what we learnt so far. This is common sense. Thinking and behaving ideally and patriotically in every place and context, wherever we are, is necessary to see our region or nation developing always. This is civic sense and being a good citizen of a nation. Most of us are not doing it. We are exploiting, if anything is ‘public’). 

We may not admire anybody. Anybody may not admire us. Still, if we do what is discussed above, the qualities of a good human being, there must be one or some or many admiring us directly or indirectly. We are not expressing our sense of admiration to all those whom we are admiring. Similarly, many, who are admiring us, may not be expressing their sense of admiration also for us! So, nothing to worry! Admiration may be expressed or not to you but it is always there in others. Deserve their admiration, before longing for it! One day it certainly reaches you.