SUNIL K POOLANI

We signed an agreement formally and finalized our point of publication of book. This casual interaction lasted for about two hours. He casually told me that publishing books was passion for him, not a business venture meant for cheating others like me, when I was suspecting his credentials passively. An idealist does not know how to prove his credentials!

He looked very simple I met Sunil K Poolani in November 2009 in his rented abode at Chedda Nagar in Mumbai when I went there to finalize the point of publication of my first book Stories of Love and Beauty. I was dim due to the train journey that preceded. I had to start back that evening itself. He told his cousin to get a pack of rice for me from a nearby place. I talked a little with him. and talked very little with me that afternoon. He was sick. I found that there were a few liquor bottles also in his old refrigerator in one portion of that abode. I understood that he drinks. I also realized that he also smokes, seeing one of his photos earlier somewhere online. I never like any person with the habits of smoking and drinking because they kill good people also suddenly, sadly. I criticized him in myself then. He did not own a two-wheeler, car or any luxury item. This was what I could understand observing his life during those few moments. He was the managing editor of Leadstart Publishing! I know about thousands of cheats, criminals and sinners in this nation, who are living luxuriously in every part of this nation. Why did Sunil remain so simple and poor despite such great position with a publishing firm? What’s wrong with him? I never got answer for this question. He said that once he worked with radical groups also. I understood that he led the life of a frustrated intellectual, idealist and visionary once! He changed his surname to Poolani (a village in Kerala) from Menon, one of the characteristics of real idealists and admirable people in every part of this world.

He waited for about one year to allow me to get ready to get my first book published. I could not have published my first book without his kindness and concern for me. What can any writer do if every publisher simply rejects his manuscript considering that he is a fresher or that the content is not fitting into their set of criteria and expectations? Sunil introduced me into the arena of published writing. There were times when I was very angry with Sunil. About 50 language errors stayed back in my book. He did not put the copyright statement in a standard format. Such were the reasons for my anger against him. An idealist, intellectual and visionary is also subject to criticism of this nature when he is in such field.

Almost one year elapsed after the publication of my book. Very few copies of it were sold. I did not mind it much because nobody can decide and influence the success rate of any honest venture but time itself.

This evening I got an email from Swarup Nanda of Leadstart Publishing in Mumbai in response to my email to him, “Sunil passed away on 10 June, due to a cardiac arrest”. Perhaps he must have reached me this news because I copied that email to Sunil also. Swarup wanted to inform me that Sunil is no more. I felt shocked to receive this bitter news. I felt blank. I daily read about many deaths in the environment around me. They bother me a little but I soon recover myself from that pain and keep going. Sunil occupied a distinguished place in my vast psychic space for some vague and indefinite reasons. I developed psychic attachment with this silent workaholic and idealist. I never felt like expressing it to anybody. We bury many such heartstrings in our innermost self. Mine is such metaphysical bond with Sunil. Perhaps this is the reason for my deep psychic disturbance at this tragic news. A great Indian passed away silently being unable to face this violent and indecent world.

I think Sunil concluded his life this way for two simple reasons: drinking and highly tense work almost every day and night as the managing editor of Leadstart Publishing. He wrote so much online and offline beyond these pressing works to him as a publisher. He did all this just out of passion for writing and an ideal way of life. Sunil is one of the greatest Indians for me because he lived as a writer and editor and died unfortunately as a frustrated and exhausted idealist. For Leadstart, it’s immeasurable loss.

Perhaps, I loved Sunil for the following vague reasons:

He did not cheat anybody.

He loved writing aimed at progressive march of a society or nation.

He lived honestly and simply, yet doing great things silently for others.

He was so innocent that he never knew that alcohol and extreme stress kill idealists also silently.

He never craved for false prestige like millions of Indians I am seeing now around.

He was such idealist and dreamer whose assets cannot be traced and appreciated by all.

He never allowed others to understand what he really is.

He published the first book of an innocent and helpless Indian “Chiranjeevi Raju”.

I am suffering today intensely realizing that a great man, who was identified as Sunil K Poolani, passed away being disgusted with the ugly and tragic things occurring in this world every day and night. I don’t request God to bless his departed soul because no soul can do any good or bad to any other soul in this world. Every soul has a scheduled role to play in this material world and desert this stage soon after that role is over. Nobody can change that Karmic schedule of a soul. He played his role and left the stage. Since I am an ordinary living entity, having developed certain misconceptions and misunderstandings about the shadowy creatures and weird phenomena in this world, I am suffering like this today about his departure. A truth, which I know as a spiritualist, and a truth, which I cannot face, when it hits me strongly, inside. Man is subject to pain as long as he lives. Some express it. Some conceal it.

Cardiac arrests are the royal ways of earthly departures for many in India now. I observe many people every day, who are getting carried away by the habits of smoking and drinking, taking them as casual and negligible. A married person or ideal living entity should not think that he is an independent creature with authority to move away from this world at his will. Sunil left the close associates of his personal and professional life in distress and pain now. Even God cannot fill that void created by his untimely departure. I think he could have avoided it, had he refrained from that fatal habit. There are very few idealists and visionaries in India now. Sunil’s death is a huge loss in this scenario even for a society in which innocent and directionless creatures like me search for one to publish their works or reach their unheard creative or painful voice to others in some other creative and ideal way.

I request my dear blog readers to avoid such bad habits like smoking and drinking which slowly eat you and take your soul away one day silently. God gave us a precious life. Let natural death reach us slowly. Let’s not invite it for fashion or craziness sake. Life is a big game. Play it. Reach its end patiently.

Even if nobody is in love with us in this world and nobody is bothered about us, we should not invite our death proactively. God is our father and mother, thinking and worrying about us there above in the sky always. He sent us into this world to allow us to celebrate the beauty and mystery on this huge canvas arranged by Him for us passionately. He suffers if we depart early. Love yourself. Live for you also.

My dear Poolani! Your departure hit my psyche deeply. Alcohol and professional stress colluded against you. Do not take your next birth in India. It’s not a suitable place for folks like you and me.

Goodbye comrade!