November 25, 2005

HOW CAN I BE HAPPY ALWAYS?

 

This is the question everybody faces if one is really concerned about oneself. As everybody knows well, various things have to be favorable to one for this to happen. Let us consider a few:

Firstly, one should have borne in a considerably rich family. By this I mean a family that can provide minimum human needs to its members without much difficulty. When food, clothes and shelter are available to a person, he can be a bit happy to follow the path shown by his parents or relatives.

Secondly, the parents or relatives of a person should not have any hereditary diseases as such for there is much possibility of their entry into the physical or psychological domains of the person in question.

Thirdly, the ugliness or beauty possessed by parents would certainly be received by their children. The luck of a person depends on this factor a lot. The beautiful are fast received by the society.

Fourthly, the parents or the society the person is associated with should be virtuous and visionary. Imagine a person taking birth in a very orthodox family or a society that survives on robberies and murders.

Fifthly, the family into which one is borne should have reputation of its own in terms of its community stand or class status.

Sixthly, one should grow up in an ideal and progressive family and educational atmosphere in one’s childhood. The sentiments and the attachments found in the family setup would certainly impact the mentality of a child. Then, the process meant for human development should be appreciable and practicable. Imagine a person being imparted knowledge in a terrorist camp or hermitage. The knowledge acquired in the first setup is anti-social and the latter can’t equip one with useful skills to live competently in the contemporary society. So, one should obtain such knowledge which is accepted and is practicable in the times one belongs to.

Seventhly, one should have a good amount of intelligence or guidance provided by one’s parents or relatives or an external body. An intelligent person knows how to live understanding the past, present and future or one with many to be guided by finds one’s life delightful for one follows the path tested and approved by other people. Imagine the life of a person lacking both the assets.

Eighthly, one should be lucky enough to face many testing incidents and experiences which do not jeopardize one’s physical or psychological balance in the process. Imagine a person being dashed by a vehicle and dying on the spot and another person watching it as an outsider. The prior has no chance to learn a lesson from the incident and the latter has it. Then, imagine a girl that was immensely affected by abuse in her childhood and a girl that read much about these occurrences in the society from her childhood itself. The prior develops an anti-male attitude based on her childhood experiences and she can’t enjoy her latter life in a considerable way like those that were not subjected to such disorders of the family system or the society. On the other hand, the latter remains cautious while dealing with suspicious males throughout her life and tries to remain safe as far as she can manage.

Ninthly, one should get good siblings, relatives, friends and well-wishers. By good I mean those that behave normally. Normally siblings try to sacrifice many things among themselves for the happiness or comfort of the other, relatives help affectionately in times of adversity or discomfort, friends remain supportive and ideal in their thoughts and behavior toward the other and well-wishers expect nothing from us but would be ready to help us at any time.

Tenthly, one should have an open mind and strong body. When one is able to change one’s opinions according to the changing times or the need of the hour, one looks endearing to everybody. When one’s body is strong enough to withstand the effects of age and the impacts of the environment around, one can think and act a bit rationally and effectively.

The eleventh criterion is that one should have good habits from one’s childhood itself. Habits are the imposed practices upon oneself by oneself based on one’s objective or subjective understanding of the happy human life on earth. One with good habits may not become a great person but would certainly find one’s life delightful. Check the habits of the people around us and the level of happiness they are deriving from those patterns of living. One can easily understand the importance of habit formation by this simple observation. Habits form the base of one’s personality or character and it decides how one is received or perceived by the familiar or contemporary ones.

The twelfth point is that one should have a positive, moral and spiritual outlook toward one’s life and others. This makes one sensitive, refined and receptive in nature and one with such qualities would certainly learn a lot from others and it is enough for one to know how to live happily on one’s own.

The above discussion clearly shows one how difficult it is for one to remain happy always. Unless factors contribute, one can’t be happy. The moot point in this deliberation is that nobody knows who decides these factors for one. The spiritually oriented people say that one needs to explore within oneself to understand the mystery of one’s life. This demands a lot of practice on part of the individual concerned. Few follow this rough path. Majority like to take their lives as they come by and this is the reason why majority can’t be happy. Many things occur just by chance and they remain beyond the sphere of common sense and minimum rationality. Highly strategic, virtuous and disciplined people also can’t help facing unimaginable woes and challenges in their lives at times. So, the point is that anybody can put forward this question but nobody has an absolute answer to this. Human life is basically mysterious and chaotic. One can enjoy one’s life when one has this perspective in one’s attitude and the required vigor and challenge to seek joy from those oddities and novelties of one’s life.

Datla Chiranjeevi Raju

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