SENSITIVITY

Sensitivity is a feeling originating from the notions of empathy, sympathy and kindness for the other. It can be expressed or exhibited through our polite words or kind reaction. It is unfortunate to note that sensitivity levels are decreasing day by day in many countries now due to the impact of excessive liberty accorded to citizens in democratic countries and in the name of modernity, novelty and fashion. People are not thinking about issues from the perspective of victims but from the standpoint of their comfort zone only. Many, while enjoying their sense of freedom, are disturbing others. They are expecting others to accept and approve their vulgar language, ridiculous behavior and dirty character as part of modern culture. They have become a matter of nuisance to common and helpless people across places. Police have no control on them. Voluntary organizations cannot go home to home to understand and solve the problems of each individual or society.  Governments are busy in attracting voters, begging their votes shamelessly, acquiring political power immorally and then enjoying it unscrupulously. In this scenario of uncertainty, cruelty, bad manners and anarchy, let’s examine how sensitivity is being interpreted and followed by various kinds of people and institutions around us.

Insensitivity

1. Most of Indian parents think that they know what is right for their children. They buy such things for their formative children, which they think are suitable for them at different stages of their growth. They instruct them which school to join, which course to pursue, which job to prefer, which life partner to accept and which lifestyle to follow, based on their beliefs, experiences and conditions. They rarely allow their children to take a decision considering different available and affordable options. If their children propose something against their wish, they feel offended and insulted. From the perspectives of most of Indian parents, the quality of a best child is ‘accepting and doing everything suggested by his/her parents time to time without arguments, questions and doubts’. They expect loyalty, respect, affection and high degree of reliability from their children. They believe that their children cannot take decisions on their own. They take them as innocent, stupid and worthless creatures, who cannot think and live on their own. They get hurt if their son or daughter marries somebody without consulting them. They seldom realize that freedom is the ultimate gift they can give their children in their lifetimes. They should enquire about a number of options and alternatives available to their children at various stages of their growth and allow them to think and choose on their own according to their rational thinking, logical planning and morally strong character. I often wonder if there are rights to children at all in India. They are living to satisfy the interests and priorities of others at various levels. When a victim of domestic violence returns to the house of her parents, they are telling her to go back and adjust with him somehow because it has been the role of a traditional married woman in India for ages. If parents think and respond like this, what could be the plight of innocent and helpless married girls? On the other hand, parents are not allowing their sons to marry those girls whom they like. They should discuss the matter with them, show them the way ahead and help them do what is good for them instead of thinking that whatever their sons do is wrong. Indian parents are not preparing individuals in their homes now but pitiable parasites. They are depending on others mostly to take decisions in many contexts of their lives and professions. Parents should realize that they should play the roles of facilitators, guides and idealists towards their children when they turn into adults but not the roles of dictators, commanders, criminals and sinners. Honour killing is one of the worst facets of Indian culture. Does my son or daughter become a criminal and sinner just by living with another creature of opposite gender, whom I don’t like as per my parameters of evaluation of character of the other? Indian parents should think and behave kindly towards their children. Even if they are misusing their freedom, just advise, warn and leave them to their lot. Remember that you cannot rewrite their fates indulging in their matters excessively. They have come into this material world with a predestined role. You cannot alter it much despite your best efforts. As parents, we have many limitations in treating our children. We have no absolute authority on them to do whatever we like. If we do so, we are actually torturing and punishing them brutally. Good parents show suitable options to their children. Bad ones impose their options on them. If you fail as parents, you are contributing to unrest and disorder in your nation because your son or daughter thinks and behaves badly outside being misguided by you always.

2. A teacher should educate his/her students applying his/her knowledge and skills in a beneficial way to learners. It is not happening in the Indian educational system now. Most of the government teachers are going to schools, colleges and universities for those attractive salaries, facilities and related attractive social image but not with an intention to enrich the knowledge levels and values of their students. Private teachers are after money. They go there to teach a given subject as per the schedule. Students sitting before them are like machines. They paid for that intensive or long-term coaching only and nothing else. Inefficient and immoral idiots have entered the educational system in India extensively. They are not subject experts. They have no standards or values. They are not at all bothered about the future of their students. If there is no emotional bond between a teacher and his student, such learning system cannot prepare builders of a nation but parasites. Teachers should not scold or beat their bad students also because they have no that moral authority. They should inform his parents about his character or behavior so that they can take a corrective action according to their discretion. Teachers should facilitate learning in their abodes of instruction. Parents of students should prepare them into disciplined learners. They too should not punish their children cruelly just because they are not meeting their expectations. All teachers should love and guide their pupils with a generous attitude. If one fails to learn something good from his teacher in his formative age, he cannot fill that void later. He suffers with a sense of low self-esteem without basic knowledge and skills to live in the contemporary complex societies where many are trying to cheat, misguide and threaten him. Teachers must be embodiments of discipline, virtues and skills.

3. Divorce cases are increasing in India day by day. Ego is the main cause for most of our problems in lives or professions. Married life must be flexible but not rigid. A husband should not treat his wife as a servant but an honourable partner of his life. He did not marry her to have children, wash dishes and clothes, prepare food and keep house hygienic and orderly but to keep her happy and comfortable at his level. To make her so, he should treat her as a respectable guest. Then only we offer them many things voluntarily. Whether to accept or reject them is up to them. I should explain what is good or bad to my wife if I am intelligent but should not compel her to do what I like the most. I should never think that my social image increases only if my wife surrenders to me and does what I order. Similarly, a wife should not torture her husband asking him to fulfil her increasing desires continuously. A good husband cannot do everything his wife requests but can only explain why he cannot meet all those expectations from her. Biologically, physically, socially, religiously and financially a husband and a wife should be mutually dependent but not look for ways to improve one’s image alone. Life partner is not an object but an inevitable and highly valuable asset of our life. When millions of people around us have no time even to look at us, she or he is struggling for our safety, security, comfort and happiness. So, he/she is vital for our survival and excellence. A widow’s life is pathetic. The life of a widower is even more pitiable. It means divorce brings more problems into our lives. If we cannot love our life partner, who is an important part of our lives, what can we achieve in this world? Mutual affection, dependence and respect must be the guiding principles of married couples but not false prestige, hypocrisy and exclusive attitude. If one cannot understand the other with love and kindness, such relationship does not last longer now. One that has no morality and discipline cannot play a commendable role in a relationship of marriage in any age.

4. Police are supposed to be the custodians of law and order in a nation but they have turned into criminals and sinners in India. They try to impose their authority upon us when we approach them. They should remember that they are our servants but not bosses. They have no authority to beat a criminal also but this is what they have been doing for long. They beat the accused and do many such unlawful things. They threaten and exploit helpless victims in their jurisdiction. They run after VIPs like dogs. They collect bribes from all influential people. If morality and legality is the fundamental principle of their job, what are they dong actually now? They are begging alms from vehicle users. They are demanding money if one dies in our house or if we want a formal work to be done by them. Corruption and irregularities are pervasive in the Indian police system. Going to a police station in India is like going to a hell knowingly. They have no sensitivity towards common people and victims in society. They must change to the better.

5. What are lawyers and judges doing in India in our courts of law? They cite codes from the Indian penal code and argue cases on anybody’s behalf. Money and fast recognition are important for them. They take years to close a case. They facilitate presentation of fake witnesses to win a case. Their communication skills are pathetic. Their social concern is almost zero. For them, this profession is a source of income only but not a medium to uphold justice. It means they are not sensitive towards the burning issues of people and societies. They are whiling away their time without offering reliable services to victims.

6. For traders and businessmen, highest profit within the shortest possible period of time is the goal. They make, procure and sell any such product or service which gives them huge profits fast. Alcohol, tobacco products, professional killing and terrorism are easy routes of business for them. They are not bothered about the welfare of their fellow human beings but margins only. Most of the products are adulterated or of low quality in India. They know that their people only consume them and suffer. A businessman sells food items, beverages and also medicines through his hotel, liquor store and medical store. He finds all immoral and illegal ways of business to earn hugely fast. Governments don’t control them because politicians are only doing many businesses now. If a businessman or farmer is not sensitive, he sells bad goods to his clients and causes pain and loss to them ultimately. We find a number of harmful foods and drinks in every part of India now because only such idiots are starting and running bad business units.

7. Society is a system of persons that belong to different families. Who are playing the roles of elders in most of our villages and towns now? They are rich, manipulative and selfish ones to the core. When somebody approaches them seeking justice in a case familiar to them, they talk what they like but not what is righteous in that context. We are not encouraging good ones. We are not punishing bad ones. We are remaining neutral in times of urgency. When a disaster occurs in our lives, we are criticizing the society around us alleging that they did not help us in adversity. If you don’t care for others, they too don’t do it towards you. If you are too busy to guide others, they are also too busy to care for you when you are in problems. We don’t need money, resources and authority to serve the society around us but commitment and values. An idiot throws a liquor party to his familiar blokes spending one lakh rupees. A gentleman digs four wells with that money in a remote hamlet of tribes. We can serve others smiling at them, giving them moral support when they are disturbed due to an issue, teaching them what we know, offering them what we have and maintaining ideal and dependable relations with them always. Are we talking with our neighbours now? Are we helping the affected ones in our societies voluntarily? When we are insensitive towards our familiar societies, we don’t serve them. They too don’t help us when we are hurt. One with sensitivity understands issues fast from the perspective of the affected ones and rushes to guide and save them voluntarily. Many depend on us in a society. We must be able to look after them kindly. Beggars, old people, destitute children, victims, animals and birds expect kindness from us.

8. There is no sensitivity in the leaders of nations also. They don’t think twice or thrice before criticizing a nation. Why have Iran, Iraq, Israel, Afghanistan, North Korea or Somalia earned an unwanted image during the last few years? Ego of politically authoritative leaders and plight of financially inferior people are two major demerits of some of our nations now. Good and rich countries should help them to be happy. But how many heads of countries are thinking like this? India spends crores of rupees for national games but cannot give that money for a country like Somalia? America makes and sells ammunition to some countries but does not take sustainable measures to improve harmony among all hostile countries and avoid a tense or warlike situation. Double standards seem to be the culture of many nations now.

9. Superiors in workplaces are expecting their subordinates to work like bonded labourers. How many superiors ever ask their subordinates to criticize their decisions and actions quite frankly before all? Most of the superiors in almost every organization take crucial decisions faster without consulting the actual stakeholders. Consequently, because of those bad and outdated policies and procedures, those who are working at ground level struggle and suffer regularly. Many superiors are utilizing their authority to suppress their subordinates but not to think about their problems from their perspective and address them with a broader perspective. 95% of employees and contract workers are not happy with their respective jobs in India now because they are being treated like machines but not as human beings. If anybody offers constructive advice, finding fault with an existing system, he would be stamped as a radical and would be fired soon or later. Telling absolute truth before all has become a matter of crime now in India. I know about a problem and its perfect solution but nobody allows me to apply my intelligence because I have a lower and negligible designation in that firm. One with higher authority never tries to resolve this problem because he never feels it like me from my standpoint. Insensitivity to the feelings and opinions of others in workplaces is the root cause of all problems there. Labour unions took birth for this reason only.

10. Labour contractors are another lot of insensitive blokes in India. Companies, both in public and private sector, are opting for contract workers mostly now because they are not interested in the welfare of human beings but huge profits from their bonded labour only. Contract workers are mostly uneducated and helpless ones in all regions. They are daily wage workers. They suffer from hardships and poverty. They struggle for existence. Contractors exploit them paying them low wages. All contract workers are not good ones but even good ones are being punished because of those few in them. They chew tobacco products, consume liquor, use abusive language and behave somewhat indecently with others. So, we should treat them like useless entities. Employees with high salaries and benefits are forming into unions to fight against governments and managements for more salaries and perks. Then, how can a contract worker, with a monthly earning capacity of six or seven thousand rupees, live in the present society? Governments, managements, contractors and regulatory bodies have been insensitive towards them for long. Most of them cannot fight with others for justice. So, they are living painfully and dying silently.

11. Cock-fights, bullfights, boxing, clinical tests on animals and birds, child labour, atrocities towards babies, girls and ladies, abattoirs, corporal punishments in educational institutions, attacking enemy regions, religious fundamentalism, community hatred, class and racial discrimination, professional killings, murders, rapes, abuses of various kinds, irritating comments and insulting activities against the sentiments and interests of a community, region, religion, language, gender, race, country, agitations in public places, public nuisance, violence to damage lives and property…insensitivity is the root cause of all these evils and issues in our places. If we love others and if we cannot bear tears, pain and suffering in the lives of others, we never resort to words and acts of insensitivity.  We are turning into criminals and sinners day by day, moving away from sensitivity. When do we awake? When do we realize that we cannot be happy, irritating, insulting and bothering others? Wars broke out due to insensitive leaders. Families collapsed due to insensitive life partners. Businesses collapsed due to insensitive managements.

Levels of Sensitivity  

We often talk or behave with others arbitrarily assuming that they don’t feel hurt or disappointed by our offer, proposal, request, instruction or advice. Everybody has a level of sensitivity. How they interact with others depends on their level of sensitivity. It is necessary for all of us to know about the sensitivity of others and behave accordingly. Otherwise, we miss many whom we love and admire for some reasons.

1. For an aspiring film actress, it may not be a problem to appear others with highly revealing clothes. You should not expect such behavior from your life partner or beloved to satisfy your ego or fantasy. For her, even appearing to others in a nightie might be a problem. Once many orthodox Hindu women never dared go out without a covering on their faces or on the carts they travelled in. All have the same human parts of functioning. Some exhibit them for pleasure. Many conceal them for privacy sake. Accept both perceiving it from their perspectives.

2. We often hear about suicides committed out of emotional disturbances. It could be a reprimand from a boss in a company, a casual remark from parents, an insulting word from outsider, an offensive comment from life partner or an abusive behavior towards the other. There are then other kinds of folks who never mind even if we scold them harshly or spit on their face in a public place. Sensitive people don’t respond or react to the actions or phenomena around them. They choose to be silent and passive. Be alert.

3. Clashes occur between life partners, relatives, friends, well-wishers and other stakeholders of a network of relationship if they don’t consider the sensitivity of others. The casual comments of politicians and celebrities often become issues of unrest and debate. Murders too occur if we misbehave with others taking them as innocent or helpless folks. Retaliation has been a major trait of humanity for ages. They develop enmity and wait for a chance to hit the other cruelly. Insensitivity leads to pain and suffering ultimately.

4. When we are going to a new place or interacting with unfamiliar set of people somewhere, we should choose every word carefully while talking with them or restrain ourselves from quite stupid, agitated or egoistic behaviour. They accord more value to their language, community, religion, region, race, cult, education, tradition, culture, class or gender than we assume. What is quite negligible or common for us from our experience and perspective might be quite offensive and avoidable for them. Take care. Honour their feelings and beliefs unconditionally there.

5. The relationship between a superior and subordinate is also very crucial in a work environment. Just because we have authority and opportunity to rebuke the other in a context, we should not talk or react too much. Many don’t express their feelings immediately. They wait for suitable time to pay back. If you used two words today addressing the other in your rage, they throw 10 words when they get time for it. If you beat him today once, they stab you to death another day. The results of your insensitivity towards others would be so unexpected and intense that you cannot bear it. Insensitivity is a negative trait of humanity, which leads to distress and pain ultimately. Discipline and ideal culture are important for us. Thus we can attract and retain many relations easily.

Communication

We communicate with others to share information and get things done as early and as comfortably as possible. Communication can be carried out with or without words, depending on a context. The words we choose to communicate orally or in written form, the tone of the voice we use, our manners and gesticulations play important role in deciding the nature of communication and the results from the other end. Giving and taking respect must be our philosophy as far as our speech and writing are concerned. Everybody likes being respected, including a thief or a killer. So, it is our fundamental responsibility to respect anybody with a kind heart. Polite communication must be practised and used to attract others.

a. Come to the party this evening. Many of our friends and relatives are coming for it casually.

b. Please do come to the party this evening. We miss you a lot if you are not there from the beginning.

a. Where is the railway station here? Do I reach it if I go along this way? Just give me a little hint.

b. Could you please show me the way to railway station. I am completely new to this place. I am lost.

a. That drunkard died of cardiac arrest this morning. All such idiots die fast due to those bad habits.

b. It is unfortunate that he died today. He has been an innocent guy. How do his dependants live now?

a. Your son is an idiot. He is not coming to school regularly. Don’t have any hopes of his improvement.

b. Your son seems to be a slow learner. He is scared of coming to school. Let’s hope he improves soon.

a. The doctor is not inside. He did not inform us where he went. He may or may not come today.

b. The doctor has just gone out. He must be going to perform an urgent surgery. He may return shortly.

a. I will kill you and die if I cannot marry you. I don’t allow anybody else to touch you.

b. I will be happy if you marry somebody you like or one chosen by your parents. All lovers can’t marry.

a. I will punish you if you don’t score the highest marks in your standard 10 at your school level.

b. Marks alone are not a testimony to our capabilities. Try to get that many marks which you can afford.

a. I want such a handsome boy to marry who is rich, open-minded, modern, reliable and accountable.

b. For me, the character of the boy is more important than other traits. He must be virtuous always.

a. God, thank you for appearing to me. Give me such boons which keep me happy and luxurious always.

b. God, thank you for blessing me with your presence. Provide me with such things only, which I deserve.

a. As my wife, it is your responsibility to wash my clothes, clean rooms, cook and nurse me like a servant.

b. I like if you are comfortable and happy. Do what you like always. You can take my advice if needed.

a. Don’t tell me that you are poor and helpless. Millions of beggars are suffering like you. What can I do?

b. I am not in a position to help you now. There is an orphanage near here for people like you. Go there.

a. You are a loafer. You are not focused on your education. You will beg in streets after I die.

b. Nobody can be an expert by birth. You can achieve anything anytime. Never feel disappointed.

a. This is not a reserve bank to give you money whenever you want. Just get out of my sight.

b. I know that you need money. I will arrange it somehow. Understand that money is very precious for us.

If you wish to win the other, avoid the first sentences and use the second ones. Sensitivity is a magnet.

Good manners

What we talk and how we behave with a variety of people in different contexts shows our manners to others in the short or long run. One that tries not to hurt others even a little through one’s words or acts can be understood as one having good manners. One that never thinks or worries about the views and beliefs of others is actually following bad manners. Good manners are the real beauty of human life.

1. All creatures appearing in this world are creations of God. Every creature has a purpose. Don’t hate any creature excessively even if it hurt you directly or indirectly. All creatures are not as intelligent and strong as us human beings. Treat them kindly. If they are poisonous and dangerous, just stay away from them.

2. Anybody can kill mosquitoes, snakes, beasts, bees or flies when they create a scene of disturbance to them somewhere. One that drives them away kindly without hurting them even a little or one that creates a natural habitat even for such creatures is an idealist. All life forms are valuable for him. He saves and nurtures them.

3. Children below the age of 10 are generally innocent and straightforward. Never think that only your children are precious creatures in this world. You may not be able to serve and save all children from their plight. At least, love them. You need not offer them anything. Avoid being harsh and cruel towards them.

4. If God permits, all of us become old people when we cross 60. Old people cannot impress us with their beauty or skills. They are nearing their deaths slowly and painfully. Don’t despise them. They feel happy if we offer them a fruit or talk with them for a while. Don’t insult or hurt them with your insensitivity.

5. Most of us have aversion towards creatures of another community, religion, race, class, language, region and orientation of life. When we cannot love people, we cannot be good human beings. All die one day. Hatred and jealousy turn us into villains slowly. Unconditional love turns us into achievers always.

6. Often use phrases like thank you, sorry and please. We are depending on products and services offered by others. Thank them often. Others are allowing us to live peacefully despite our mistakes and blunders. Tell them sorry. All creatures are great. So, respect everybody unconditionally saying please quite often.

7. We cannot achieve much shouting at others and finding faults in them one after another. Mutual love, mutual respect and mutual cooperation lead us towards success and happiness. We can win all practising pure love and care for others. We should regulate our thoughts, feelings, emotions, passions and desires.

8. Many remain as helpless creatures in their lives or professions for various reasons. We are not great if we are in a better position than them in many respects but only when we can treat them as precious creatures of God. This requires broad outlook and generous attitude in us. Be a guide and support to as many creatures as possible.

9. Formalities are important in many occasions. We cannot talk alike with our brother and father. There are rules for everything. We should know and practise them to master good manners. The more you try to learn and practice good manners with all, the more the people that wish to love and spend with you.

10. God did not prepare anybody with features and qualities like somebody else. Others may not like what we propose.  Many ridicule us if we do something great for others without selfish motive. Always think right, talk right and do right. If you can satisfy your active conscience, you can love and respect yourself.

11. Life is an eventful journey. We never see back the station that we left back. So, treat all that come across you as invaluable assets of your life. Greet them. Feel them. Love them. Spend with them. Celebrate with them. Carry those sweet memories with you. They may not come your way again ahead.

Learning

We may not be sensitive by birth. We turn hard and unkind towards many things and people in this world in course of time due to our bitter experiences with others. We develop bad and avoidable impressions about others. We believe that others do not change unless we treat them harshly. We should remember that each person has a level of sensitivity. We cannot get things done by him or change him unless we understand him from that level. He may get hurt if we treat him cruelly thinking that all humans are hard by birth. Our communication and manners should change time to time in accordance with the situation and person at hand. If we remain insensitive always towards all, others hesitate or avoid approaching us altogether.

1. Each piece of meat we are consuming regularly was the part of a live animal or bird killed brutally by somebody minding our food requirements. We feel distressful and painful even if a thorn pierces our sole. It means we are sensitive creatures. All other creatures are also sensitive. We may not be able to refrain from consumption of meat immediately but we feel their pain every time we eat it, slowly we turn sensitive towards all creatures and treat them kindly. We should often sensitize ourselves. Non-violence must be our way of life as much as possible. We have no authority to hurt or kill anything or anybody.

2.  Many of us might have heard the phrase ‘universal fraternity’. It means we should take all human beings as our relatives. Scientifically also, our roots as human race were unique. We all originated from one source. There are about 196 countries now in this world. Many are migrating from one place to another for various reasons like catastrophes, wars, internal turmoil, opportunities and so on. We should not treat others inhumanly just because they came to our place in a desperate condition. We should love all because they are our relatives. We may not be able to help them financially but we can console and support them saying a few words of assurance and kindness. As part of globalization, mobility increased tremendously. We should know about and respect the tradition and culture of people with whom we are living. We should not treat somebody or something badly just because he or it looks irrational and unwanted to us.

3. If a tree falls down due to gales or if we cut it partly, it does not die completely. It starts growing back from that level of humiliation and inhumanity rendered by us. Again it bears fruit for us. It means many things of nature are treating us kindly despite our cruelty or negligence towards them. Similarly we should train ourselves continuously to be sensitive and treat others accordingly. We can be sensitive when we can control our anger, jealousy, hatred and carelessness towards others. We should behave kindly with our enemies also unless there is immediate threat to us by them. All look like our well-wishers if we have sensitivity and love them unconditionally. When we treat others as outsiders always, we don’t like or cannot accept most of the things they do. Inclusive culture demands generosity on our part. We should give others an opportunity to prove their guiltlessness. We should not attack anybody suddenly.

4. We need to be more sensitive towards those who are underprivileged, unfortunate and sensitive than others. They are so vulnerable that they cry within seconds if we look down upon them or throw a few abusive words at them casually. We should treat those, who are in pain and distress, delicately. They are like glassware. They look attractive and reliable to all of us from a distance. Actually they break if we touch them roughly.

5. Sensitivity is an art. One kind of behaviour does not suit all conditions. When we go to a house to console somebody, who is bereaved, we had better talk less and work more. There is no use of conducting condolence meetings. Solemn silence and a hug of assurance means more than a speech for long about the deceased. If we can cry being affected by intensity of an unfortunate event, it really reflects our sensitivity.

Acts of sensitivity

1. When we are eating something in a plate or other bowl, at home or outside, we should ensure that we are not soiling the space around our dish. Children drop food items because they are immature. How many adults are eating food or drinking beverages in a clean manner now? They do it like pigs and monkeys. Are we expecting somebody else to pick them up after us? Should we insult them like this?

2. Most of us don’t have sensitivity towards our wives or mothers. We make them into our bonded labourers. She should cook food for us, wash our used dishes, clean the rooms, wash our clothes and do many such things for us. Can we men do like them for one day for our family members? We want to go to offices or parties and while away our time just like that. They should stay indoors and serve us always. Is it fair? Understand and help them kindly.

3. When somebody approaches us with an explanation of pain and suffering, asking for our advice or help, just listen to him first. Don’t despise him because he came to you expecting words of assurance and solace. When the other is worried or distressful, we should discuss the matter within seconds and come up with a solution. Finding fault with the other is avoidable in such circumstances. Do not delay much. Act fast to help or save him from pain.

4. Never expect others to follow your orders always, even if it does the best for them. They cannot follow them for various reasons. You should not treat them disloyal and undisciplined just because they violated your code of conduct. Instead of it, try to know if your guidelines are too rigid and impracticable to follow. Before criticizing the other arbitrarily, check yourself if you have never committed such mistake.

5. We see many children who scold their old and helpless parents when they are dependent on them. We should never insult, irritate or bother those, who are vulnerable due to their age or other conditions. They get hurt if we misbehave with them out of our ego or false prestige before all. As your parents, they could not do anything worthwhile for you. What have you done for them or your children better than them?

6. Remember that all are not equipped with great features and qualities. You may be handsome, educated, rich, creative, talented, strategic, modern and visionary. Others may be innocent, stupid, eccentric and outdated. Continue your relationship with them only if you can bear their drawbacks and demerits. Otherwise, just stay away from them forever. Even a fool or thief does not like being insulted by others.

7. Express your anger or hatred directly towards somebody or something but do not victimize others. If you don’t like your neighbour, tell it on his face why you hate him. He understands and changes to your expectations or changes you to his expectations. If you beat his daughter, dog or cow, it would be a sin on your part. It is not right to bother A to retaliate against B. We should avoid indirect treatment. Whenever possible, communicate directly.

8. We are all descendants of God because we are next to God in abilities of all kinds. He is treating tigers, snakes, scorpions, flies, mosquitoes, bacteria, goats, lizards, criminals and sinners alike without discrimination. He is allowing all to live in this world for a period of time instead of killing them when they are against Him. Similarly, love and be patient with good and bad people alike always to delight them. All cannot bear rejection from us.

9. The priorities and tastes of all cannot be alike. I hate cricket. Many love cricket. I love females. Many may not love them. I am a theist. Many are not. I may do what I like and can afford but should not compel others to think and behave like me. If I have 

10. reasons to like something, others may have 10 reasons to hate it. Never expect them to like what you like. Learn to love them even if they are against your notions. They may change slowly.

Insights

1. Sensitivity presents you as a decent, acceptable, appreciable, approachable and kind person to all familiar to you. If all come to you to say something good or bad, you can pick up the best for you from those multiple options. Being accessible to all stakeholders is important. Let them speak out fairly and fearlessly. Just listen to them.

2. Being calm and balanced even amid a storm of complications, issues and ordeals is difficult but not impossible. When you can achieve and retain this psychological state, everything looks feasible and practicable to you. If you lose balance and take quick decisions to please others, you are actually sinking into a pit of additional problems.

3. You can become sensitive slowly, watching classic feature films, listening to soothing music, spending with victims quite often, reading classics, humming an inspiring film song frequently and observing the lives of achievers like scientists, social reformers, freedom fighters, voluntary organizations and so on.

4. Don’t act sensitivity repeatedly as a professional but become a person of sensitivity. If you act goodness to satisfy others and earn a good image in others, you actually punish yourself. When you act goodness, you suppress your bad qualities for the time being. Make your attitude sensitive forever. Transform yourself completely slowly.

5. Sensitivity is like an ornament to us. It helps us attract more and more towards us and retain them in the long run. When we are sensitive, we think about others and their issues from their perspective, moving away from our comfort zone. When you love others deeply, most of them too feel so towards you always.

6. In life, it is impossible to come across such people, things, events and circumstances, which are in favour of us. Many talk badly about us. Some praise us more than necessary. You can retain your virtues when you can identify what you are really and what you can give others. Avoid arguments and rivalry. Treat all fairly and decently always.

7. Inferiority and superiority complex are like day and night on earth. Everybody feels them time to time. Never believe that you know and can do everything. Understand that there are many great people than you in this world. Similarly don’t underestimate yourself. God gave you a lot of intelligence and energy. Utilize them often.

8. If you are unable to change outsiders to your expectations, find and be friendly with all those who think and behave like you. If 99 familiar folks are blaming your act, if you believe that it is absolutely right, it is better to ignore all those criticizing you and move on in the company of those who really love and support you honestly.

9. Sensitivity builds relationships. Insensitivity breaks them. We should be sensitive towards all those that come across our lives and professions even if they are wrong. People take a lot of time to understand the value of a virtuous creature. Don’t expect instant recognition everywhere. Wait and get it slowly always.

10. Don’t think that you are a worthless and unwanted one in this world. If you are feeling lonely, join others. If you are exhausted with multiple relationships and related burdens for long, just keep away from them. All medicines don’t cure all kinds of diseases. Be sensitive to your ideas, intuition and conscience.

11. Sensitivity means accepting and appreciating others though they are against your opinions and attitude. It is like growing a plant for years. Nobody watches your good acts. You may die before you realize your dream. Others may treat you as a brainless nut. Don’t get disappointed. Keep doing what you think to be absolutely right.

12. No person likes or expects insensitive behaviour from us. All expect sensitive treatment towards them. You will become sensitive after practising it every day for some years. Then you can find this world more beautiful.

VALUE

How do we estimate the value of a person, phenomenon or creature? Value is a feeling that we develop about something or somebody based on our understanding about it or its relevance or importance to us or others once, at present or in future. The values of all entities keep changing in course of time. One that seems to be very valuable to me may not mean the same to others. Many factors affect the value of a living being or a thing in this world. Mostly, one’s condition, imagination, perception, emotion, passion, logic, helplessness or dependability facilitates one to understand and value things differently. In fact, nothing has a definite and unchangeable value in this world. The value of anything or anybody in relation to you or others depends on how much you or they value it. The value of something is in our imagination only but not in reality. If you think that something is worthless, it is worthless to you. If others take it as highly valuable, it is valuable to them. I present some factors to understand the concept of ‘value’.

1. Age

Almost every creature, with life, has the element of age. The existential duration of a creature between its birth and death is its age or life. Since nobody is permanent here, everybody attributes value to others.

1. Most of us consider infanthood or childhood valuable because it is the foundation of one’s life. As children, we seek careful upbringing and affection of our parents, relatives and well-wishers. In formative age, what we learn or do would have a profound impact on our latter life. We should value formative age.

2. Old age is also very important stage of human life. One undergoing old age realizes that life is boring, unbearable and avoidable. He counts his days to desert his body soon. Observers realize that pains of separation and self-pity are integral parts of all life forms. Old age is a great teacher to self and others.

3. Age means period of time. There are various ages in human history. Each age presents a man or woman differently. Man lived like a beast in Stone Age. Later he improved his intelligence applying his knowledge and skills gained through observation of surroundings. Age changed him from beast to man.

4. Youth is also a dominant stage of evolution in human life. This is when many crave the company of creatures of opposite gender. Their thoughts and acts are fast, unpredictable and unreliable. They are challenging but cannot properly utilize the power of their age for better things on their own.

5. When one is between the ages of 20 and 50, many consider one as a knowledgeable and dependable one with the assumption that one acquired some skills before 20 which can be used rest of life. After 50 or 60 years, our body does not remain healthy and active much. We slowly lose our value after 60.

6. The age of other creatures such as animals, birds and trees also decides their comparative value. Young creatures and trees are treated with respect and affection by many because man can utilize them well when they are operational and productive. Do we care them if they turn old, parasitic and worthless?

7. Some are valued more if the age is more. It is believed that sages aged many years beyond 100 are living in the mountains of India. Himachal Pradesh, Uttarakhand, Sikkim and Jammu and Kashmir must be the favorite habitations of these great saints. We value them so much that we are scared to go to them.

8. Archeologists, biologists, geologists, astronauts, oceanographers   and a variety of scientists involved in the pursuit of exploration of mysteries of organisms and things related to the past on the earth and in the space value those of the longest age. They try to decode mysteries and wonders looking into the past.

2. Craze

Craze means excessive, abnormal or irrational passion for or attachment with something. In all ages, all have craze for something or the other. The thoughts and pursuits of crazy blokes might look or sound stupid, avoidable, bizarre or eccentric to others. Those mad after somebody or something don’t mind it.

1. Lovers seem to be the craziest creatures in all ages. Love is a universal and inevitable phenomenon, more so between creatures of opposite gender. What they do for their lovers is beyond records. Many sacrifice a lot for their lovers. Some die in the name of love. Lovers accord a lot of value to their beloved.

2. Hobby slowly turns into craze in some cases. Let’s think that book collection is hobby to a person. Initially he collects some books, not thinking too much about it. After collecting 2000 or so books, he turns mad after them, if others appreciate him much. He finds any book much valuable from that stage.

3. Many boys and men have craze for girls and women. They think about them, run after them, buy costly gifts for them and do a lot with them to satisfy their wild desires. Many spend a lot of time and money on this pursuit only as long as they are young and energetic, neglecting other vital things also knowingly.

4. Auctions often surprise me. Some items like diamonds, paintings and possessions of noted artists are being sold at unbelievably high rates every year. They don’t contribute 1000 rupees also for a cause but they spend huge money for things of this order. Their craze for these things is increasing their value.

5. In every nation, larger sections of people have craze for something or the other. Now many nationals are mad after the events of games, sports and entertainment. Indians are mad after cricket. They make it part of their life or culture. These pursuits are turning into highly valuable things in that nation soon.

6. Indian women like gold, ornaments, clothes and household items. They don’t mind their knowledge, skills, health, wealth or future but their attractive material possessions only. They focus on items and pursuits of beauty also a lot. Consequently, they are according more value to these kinds of items only.

7. Now common trend in India is craze for electronic gadgets like smartphone and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Many youngsters are changing phones like anything and are craving identity and appreciation on online social networking platforms. Technology and gadgets are valuable for them.

8. We wonder to know that a number of religious and spiritual cults are there in every part of India, doing a lot to attract various people towards their cults. Many are becoming devotees of these demigods. They attribute much value to those heads of cults. They are worshipping them and donating millions of rupees.

9. Many are mad after astrology, vaasthu, palmistry and numerology. They don’t go out if it’s not auspicious time. They build any house following vaasthu only. They believe in palmistry. They change their names also for numerology. These practices and pursuits are becoming valuable due to their craze.

10. Most of Indians and other nationals are focused on using the Internet nowadays. Those with modern gadgets are browsing on their cellphones or computers only. Other less privileged ones are resorting to Internet cafes. Online presence is important for them. So, they made use of Internet a matter of craze.

11. Chicken, mutton, fish, prawn, spicy fast foods, pubs, feature films, parties, tours, bikes, cars, loans and luxuries are the choices of many modern youth now across India. They are spending much for them.                                                                           

3. Need

Need is what we desire partially or strongly to satisfy our wants, wishes or desires continuously.  We need many things and facilities for our survival or excellence. We accord more value to those, which help us live and grow peacefully. We cannot survive without meeting the demands of our body and mind. We wonder to realize that we are being in a relationship with many in this world partly or fully only because we are fulfilling some needs in our lives or professions just because of our association with them.

1. Children need the financial, moral and social support of their parents till they become self-reliant. They do what their parents advise as long as they depend on them. They attribute more value to their parents as their degree of dependence on their parents increases in course of time. They fulfil their needs regularly.

2. Wife and husband can be happy and comfortable as long as each of them thinks that the other is valuable in his or her present married life. They depend on each other for many needs and reasons. Each looks valuable when they feel so. If they stop thinking so, they don’t find the other worthy and attractive.

3. A candidate looking for a reliable job finds any good employer valuable initially. He feels loyal, obedient and disciplined towards them during that stage of his association with his employer. When going out for a better opportunity or sacked for a strong reason, his employer does not look valuable at all.

4. A lender, be it a moneylender, relative, friend, well-wisher, bank or other financial institution, who can offer us money with or without interest, when we are in dire need of money, looks like a God when we are approaching him. When he asks us to pay back after some or a long time, he appears like a villain.

5. Man cannot live without social and familial support because everybody is a parasite but most of us maintain a relationship with somebody for a period of time only because we need their support for that duration only. Afterwards we behave carelessly towards them. This is what we call opportunism.

6. During emergencies, we consult specialists or those who can help us immediately without conditions. They offer us their best service during this time. We don’t find them as interesting and valuable ones later because we don’t need their service any more. Most of us don’t mind those, who helped us once much.

7. When we travel in a bus, train or an aeroplane, we develop a kind of relationship with those closely visible or accessible to us. We feel a psychological bond with them for those few hours. We mingle and interact with them as if we are related deeply. Once the journey is over, we cannot be in touch with them mostly.

8. Some work in a company for a few months and some for some years. Every employee builds a network of relationships with his subordinates, peers and superiors for personal or professional needs. When they leave those jobs, farewell meetings are conducted. Once out, they don’t find time to be in touch.

9. Infatuation is also a strong force which makes us mad for a creature of opposite gender. We don’t know why we love some fast. Their presence, thoughts and looks mesmerise us. We crave their appreciation. We do a lot to satisfy them. Once we lose that feeling, they look quite negligible to us.

10. Regular interaction also makes us love others. We like those who appear us at retail stores, temples, hospitals, schools or other abodes of human presence more than those, who occasionally come into contact with us. We value them more than all those, who are staying away from us for some reasons.

4. Helplessness

Helplessness is a state of life in which we cannot live moderately or excel considerably if some circumstances or persons do not help and guide us optimally in time. Every human being feels helpless and hopeless at some or other stage of his life. He needs solace, guidance and assurance during those critical moments of his life by those whom he trusts or those who love him more than others. What we offer when one is helpless impacts him deeper than what we do when he is happy and comfortable.

1. Many donate food, clothes, money and such other items of utility to those who are in great need of them as part of their birthdays, ceremonies, celebrations or out of interest for social service. Those receiving this kind of generous help from others find the donors very kind, valuable and admirable.

2. A widow, who leaves her husband after many struggles and pain in association with him and his relatives, finds anybody that behaves generously towards his wife, very valuable. If she marries for the second time and if he loves and takes care of her considerably, she treats him like God on earth.

3. There are many orphans in this world. Some are counted and cared for by voluntary organizations and philanthropists and many are not counted at all. Many orphans spend their lives in pathetic conditions, suffering from lovesickness and solitude. Those that love and help them appear like angels to them.

4. Physical and psychological disabilities are matters of quite concern for the individuals concerned, their parents, relatives and friends. Everything looks gloomy and unpromising to them from their pessimistic point of view. If some can bring them out from this predicament, they value them a lot.

5. Illiteracy, stupidity, bad habits and bad luck drag many back from the pursuit of their normal lives or lofty goals. They look for a helping hand. Contemporary society and governments play nominal roles only in their lives. If anybody can pull them from that ditch of disappointment, they feel very happy.

6. Many resort to God when they are helpless and doomed. They take the God as the ultimate saviour and guide. They believe that God only can resolve all the problems in their lives. This is why many convert into a religion when they are psychologically, socially and financially down. God is valuable for them.

7. You have lost your purse and belongings somewhere on a long journey. You need some money to reach your home from that stage of journey for vital needs like food. It is not easy to request others and ask them for 2000 or 5000 rupees. If somebody helps generously in this situation, you love him a lot.

8. Somehow a girl could not attract the eyes of parents of many boys for marriage. Shortly many started gossiping that she is an unfortunate girl in that family. Her parents and relatives too started thinking so. If a good and handsome boy marries her out of love for her, she finds him as saviour and guide to her.

9. Old age and the stage of bed-ridden sickness hurt many a lot. The entire world looks cruel and boring to them because they cannot do many things, which other young and healthy creatures are doing actively. If we love and care for them during this stage considerably, they accord much value to us directly.

10. When we are in a foreign country, their language and culture disturb and confuse us a lot. We cannot master it within days. We get neglected or punished if we don’t reform ourselves fast. We cannot develop fast if unfamiliar and unreliable ones teach us. One that is close to us can help and win our heart.

5. Distance

Distance can be physical or psychological. Most of us do not live closely with our parents, siblings, relatives or well-wishers for various reasons. We remain far away from them. We regularly think about them and suffer realizing that they are not accessible to us. We cannot go to them physically, leaving our vital studies, jobs or businesses. The more the distance between us and those whom we love deeply, the more our pain and regrets. When we crave their presence badly, we find them valuable largely.

1. I studied away from my parents when I was a child staying at the house of my maternal grandparents. My parents did not think that I would feel hurt and forsaken if they had not come to see me often. I suffered from grief, distress and homesickness as a child because my parents were valuable to me.

2. When I studied in a residential school for three years from 1990 to 1993, I spent an academic life of isolation from the rest of the society. There were no people around but hills and silence. If any of my relatives came to see me, I used to feel blissful. When they went away, I suffered and cried silently.

3. I stayed away from my parents and siblings for 10 years even after my education. I wanted to spend my time in their company but there was no possibility. I could not bear with that pain of isolation. I left such life of distance voluntarily and came closer to a place where there are my parents, relatives and others.

4. I spent in a unit of my employer for a month as an English instructor in 2014, away from my wife and children. Before marriage I longed for my parents and siblings. After marriage, it was for my wife and children. I found that short period of isolation distressful. Distance thus disturbed me considerably.

5. Many newly married couples face such traditional or professional situation whereby they have to live away from each other for a period of time. They talk over phone. They count days and nights to reach that opportune time to meet the other. They don’t find the other that valuable if she or he is very close.

6. As part of liberalization, privatization and globalization, many Indians started going abroad and settling there forever during the last few years. Many settled there long ago. Every NRI, who spent some part of his or her life in India once, feels grief, pain, isolation and desolation, while living in other countries.

7. Personnel of defence services stay away from their family members as long as they are in their service. They cannot spend even one day without thinking about their dear ones. They suffer when they cannot physically feel the presence of their beloved ones. Distance from one another is making them feel so.

8. Sensitive lovers and admirers develop deep psychological bonds with those whom they love or admire. They cannot share those feelings and realities with hostile societies and family members around in most of the contexts known to us. They cry and suffer silently, not being able to spend with the other closely.

9. Division of some countries and regions as part of wars or historical events inflicts psychological and cultural wounds on the psyches of all those separated inhumanly at some point of time. The hardships and pains of many of those that belonged to East and West Germany might be the best example for this.

10. Death, ultimately, creates the inevitable distance between those that are living on this earth planet and those that left it. If God gives souls to all those that died during the last 50 years, all of us wish to see them again in those bodily forms. We love bodies and memories attached with those bodies a lot always.

6. Time

Time is a force with absolute authority on all creatures, phenomena and events within its sphere. It is not a creature but process. We don’t find human life or the events in this world interesting and exciting if there is no concept of time at all. We don’t follow schedules or discipline if there is no power of time. It’s an abstract notion with concrete impact on all related to the earth and other planets. Human life is valuable because it is bound to age parameters guided by time. Time influences us every second.

1. When I was pursuing my school education in a hamlet in a district in Andhra Pradesh, during 1990-93, it looked as a place of haunting memories because there were hills all around and human presence was low. Now I am finding it as a valuable and inspiring place for learning. Time increased its value.

2. When a wife is living with her husband, he does not find her as an impressive and inspiring creature because of proximity and easy accessibility. If we meet him a few years after her death, he looks melancholy and hopeless. He finds her belongings and memories very valuable and incomparable.

3. Many wines, which have been brewed for years from special verities, cost a lot now. Antiquity has a worth of its own in all ages. If something existed once and not now at all, it turns a very valuable phenomenon for all. Dinosaurs are the best example. If they appear again, we treat them as invaluable.

4. If we see a film which portrays the events of the present and a film which presents the bitter truths of the past, of 2000 years or before that, we feel excited watching the one that portrays the distant past than the present. Many changes occur in course of time. We feel thrilled observing those basic changes.

5. We find one that is coming to see us after five or ten years more valuable and unique than one that met us a few weeks ago. There may not be any change in his psychology or other realities associated with him for long but our very perception about him changes just because of the time gap in physical meeting.

6. The house we lived in years ago looks more valuable than the one we are living in now. We attribute a lot of value to the ones that belong to the longest past than the recent past. We sit and recollect the past sitting at a dilapidated house rather than looking at and appreciating a newly constructed building.

7. Who were our forefathers about 1000 years ago? Where and how did they live? What were their physical features and lifestyles? These questions look more attractive and inspiring to us than, “What are the interests and priorities of my parents? What are the abilities of my friends, relatives and well-wishers?”

8. Children listen to our stories more interestingly when we start them with phrases like long ago, once upon a time, rather than there is a governor in the state of Arizona. Mystery and history evoke interest and passion in us than the present. We like that which is highly inaccessible and unaffordable to us.

9.  We are finding the sun and moon very valuable because they appear and disappear regularly during day and nighttime. If they appear or disappear for a number of years continuously, we don’t find them as considerable ones. One that is accessible and favourable to us can attract us more than others.

10. Many cry recollecting their past but not their immediate or distant future. Past was lost. We cannot regain it despite having millions of dollars. Can we see our children as kids again after we turn 60 or so? Can we talk again with our sweetheart that was friendly when she was 16 or so? Lost was invaluable.

7. Unavailability

When something is available, we don’t want or crave it much. Abundance leads us into a feeling of negligence and carelessness. When somebody says that it is a last chance, we hurry up for it or worry thinking that we may not be able to get it. Many marketing folks use this trick to lure customers. Scarcity increases the value of many useful things and organisms. UNO and some other voluntary organizations are doing a lot to protect and preserve rare and endangered species. Rarity enhances value of something.

1. When flood hit a shrine in North India last year, a lot of life and property got washed away. Scarcity of goods prevailed due to detachment of those areas from other main land areas for some days. Many unscrupulous rogues sold drinking water, milk and such essential commodities at very high prices.

2. Right now there is wide scarcity of girls of marriageable age in some other communities of Andhra Pradesh. About 20 years ago, many middle-class parents avoided bearing girl children considering it as an unbearable burden. Now girls seem to be more valuable than gold, pearls and diamonds in these regions and communities.

3. Sand is necessary to make constructions of various types, with cement and concrete. Until recently sand looked like a very valuable entity to the people of Andhra Pradesh. A few days ago, sand was announced to be free of cost to all natives. Now many stopped considering sand as a valuable item.

4. There are many seas and oceans in this world but we cannot consume salty seawater directly. This is why people are not drawing seawater much for consumption in any part of the world. Potable water is valuable. We are spending a lot of money to procure, process and utilize highly reliable water now.

5. If we go to a clinic in a town where an extraordinary specialist would be available for two hours only on Sundays, many queue up for him thinking that he is a very valuable doctor. If the same doctor is available 24/7 at his clinic minding the welfare of all kinds of patients, they don’t find him valuable.

6. There are some rare blood groups like O – and AB +. Many search for it hurriedly and worriedly at the eleventh hour. Blood groups like A – and A + are widely available. There won’t be much tension and pain in procuring this blood group. If it is not available in an emergency, we buy it at any cost ultimately.

7. We consider the holy food (prasaadham) brought from temple shrine Tirupathi or that of Lord Shiva at Sri Sailam very valuable because it is not available to us easily. On the other hand, how do we treat the same kind of food cooked at home for offering to God. Nobody treats it as special and valuable item.

8. We are treating philanthropists, freedom fighters, martyrs, pioneers and extraordinary artists special and highly valuable compared to other common people. We take Mahatma Gandhi as a rare and commendable personality. We find them very valuable because many humans are not like them now.

9. What we see in museums and national parks mean a lot to us because they are not available much in other areas for view also. We find the time we spend there also valuable. Are we according such value to the belongings and pets at our abode? Since they are easily accessible to us, we don’t respect them much.

10. Compare the value of a baby son of a rich mother that got him after years of waiting and medication and the value of 10 or more children to a poor and helpless mother. We value those friends who are not easily accessible to us more valuable than those who are living in our neighbourhood. It’s our perception.

9. Imagination

Imagination might be logical or illogical. Imagination is a common trait of all human beings. Nobody is an expert in all fields. We cannot lead our lives without imaginations. The root of all great or tragic events is imagination. Creativity is a kind of streamlined and logical imagination, which can surprise, educate and entertain others differently. Imagination is the essence of human life, from which all kinds of thoughts and innovations emerge. One without imagination of any kind would be treated as a nut.

1. When we go to a sage or scientist, we believe that he has extraordinary spiritual knowledge or scientific achievements. We don’t know much about God, soul, Karma, rebirth and salvation or logic, theory, analysis and application but we assume that he has extraordinary knowledge and experience.

2. When we watch a duet in an Indian feature film, the actor and actress describe each other in a variety of pleasant and inspiring words to express their joy and celebration. We don’t know where those places are or what those polished words mean actually. We find the protagonists and their language very impressive.

3. All creative works employ the element of imagination. Literature is the best example of imagination. We have been reading a variety of literary works for years on a multitude of subjects, themes and topics but not feeling bored of them though there are characters, incidents and ends of similar nature in all.

4. Strategy, planning, arrangement and conclusion of all kinds require imagination. How to defeat the villain? What to do when a natural calamity hits our region? When to decide what to do? How to end a negotiation in favour of us? Who should do what and when to please the guest optimally in time?

5. Lovers find their active, energetic and imaginative lives more interesting and exciting rather than a wife and a husband as part of their married life. While in an innocent love relationship, both the partners find their present and future wonderful because they perceive it from their standpoint of wild imaginations.

6. Many personality development speakers are introduced to us by others reading out the degrees they obtained in different branches of learning and years of experience in many domains of expertise. We find them more valuable when a lot of great things were told about them. We imagine that they are great.

7. Many admirers, who passionately adore an achiever for some reasons, never meet him/her in person. They attribute many good qualities to them out of their pure love and attachment for them without enquiring or checking whether they deserve such treatment from others. Their imaginations outdo realities there.

8. Fear of black magic and the unknown are also the results of imagination. Many believe that some have great powers of black magic. They can torment or kill their targeted ones without going there. A scientist, a millionaire or an extraordinary achiever has to yield to him. They believe that he has many powers.   

9. Many are engaged in treasure hunt pursuits across the world. It has been believed that tons of gold and such other valuable metals had been buried under ground years ago by our forefathers due to natural calamities or other reasons. Many think that earth is a storehouse of a variety of valuable goods.

10. Public relation officers and shallow politicians describe a lot and show heaven to customers and common people in words only. They can do wonders taking people into a world of imaginations. They are continuously taken and kept in a world of beautiful lies. Those, who tell lies well, are respected by many.

10. Utility

Utility is one’s usefulness to us. Man is so selfish that he maintains an attachment with somebody or something only if it benefits him directly or indirectly in the short or long run. He wants to derive happiness and comfort from most of the things or creatures he has at his disposal. He shuns or discards others at will if he believes that they are not useful to him. He changes the atmosphere around him and manipulates the circumstances in favour of him applying his intelligence, cruelty or authority over time.

1. Man has been considering the moon and the sun in our familiar solar system highly valuable since time immemorial. Religiously inclined ones call them Gods. Scientifically oriented ones treat them as a planet and satellite. Both are getting light and energy from them. So, they are according value to them.

2. Farmers rearing animals and birds for their livelihood maintain two kinds of culture towards them. They consider fertile and productive ones as valuable ones and treat them with high care and love. Those that are infertile or useless by birth or that turn so in course of time are neglected and discarded by them.

3. As many believe, parents do not love and care all their children alike. They focus more on who is doing something useful for him or them in course of time. Many parents treat handsome, beautiful, energetic, financially capable and useful children more valuable and interesting than those without these merits.

4. We know that an actor and actress are promoted more in and outside a feature film because those producing, directing and promoting feature films assume that actor and actress are the USP of their pieces of entertainment. Others may do wonders but they and we seldom see, care or discuss them in general.

5. Cardiologists, pulmonologists, orthopedists and gastroenterologists are in more demand now than dermatologists, nutritionists and psychologists because most of us think that our heart, lungs, bones and nervous system are more valuable and important to us than our skin, balanced diet regimen and mind.

6. If we go for asking a donation for a cause and if there are the chairman of the company, directors and some managers and if we have easy access to all based on our earlier interaction and relation with them, we directly go to the chairman and ask for it because in that context, he is of highest utility to us.

7. If there are 10 lakh rupees with a criminal, five lakh rupees with a beggar and one lakh rupees with a sage, and if we have an option to take money from any one of them only once, we choose the criminal. We value the money in this context but not who possesses it. More money gives us more happiness.

8. If there are four companies to us and if we are faced with a situation where we have to sell any three of them and retain one only for legal obligations or other pressing reasons, we retain that firm which brings us more profits with less effort in a short period of time even if it is a bad business from other perspectives.

9. Most of the students, over the decades, have been pursuing such academic courses, which help them get high pay jobs but not those which bring less pay but a great deal of satisfaction. Even entrepreneurs pay high to those who directly contribute to production but not other departments that support them always.

10. We are investing more money now in gold, lands, buildings and such other valuable assets but not knowledgeable books, balanced diet and philanthropic service though we talk about them grandly in formal occasions. We run after such things, which would be of high utility to us in course of time.

Insights

1. Value is a feeling configured by various notions and assessment criteria. All don’t treat a person or thing alike in different contexts and circumstances. Values keep changing as we change constantly.

2. Contemporary trends and influences impact value of things and creatures. We cannot increase or decrease the value of many things at will. Mostly demand and supply parameters affect value of entities.

3. Many promote themselves doing such things, which most of others cannot do that easily despite great efforts for long. It means they are unique persons. Special skills often inspire us than ordinary ones.

4. Underestimating or overestimating somebody or something shows our ignorance and foolishness. We face problems in both the contexts. Our endeavour must be, always, to assess somebody accurately.

5. We need not consider something or somebody very valuable just because many are using, following or admiring it or him. The best preferences of majority can, at times, be the worst things from another perspective.

6. Education, analysis, experience and insights gained earlier often help us assess the value of something or somebody in an accurate manner. If we have adequate knowledge, we can assess them better.

7. In many occasions, value is a vague and unreliable concept. We can never assess anything or anybody perfectly because our human capabilities are not enough to do it effectively beyond a stage.

8. Others can often increase or decrease our value before others artificially. If all the villagers wish to treat me as an admirable person, they promote me so. Then others too accept and believe in it.

9. If we are trying to enhance our value through our attire, residential place and other resources, it means we are not basically correct or valuable people. We are playing a smart role just to impress others artificially.

10. We should not build up our image or character in such a way that the features, gadgets and assets we possess are primary contributors to enhancement of our value but our essential qualities and standards.   

11. The value we get and retain due to the kindness and generosity of others is avoidable. The value we gain and retain based on our knowledge and skills makes and keeps us happy and self-confident.

12. We should treat such things as more valuable, which are vital for our survival, but not excellence. Water, food, land, air, clothes and people are more valuable than soda, styles, tours, gossip and prestige.

13. We should never wish to be identified and appreciated by all because all cannot understand our value. It is enough if we are encouraged and appreciated by those few ones, whom we take as great persons in many ways.

14. Learn and do such things, which make you as a valuable person from the perspectives of idealists and achievers but not something to be eulogized by such persons, who don’t have standards and values at all.

15. Enhancing your value in the short or long run is simple. Think about real value. Talk about highly valuable things and persons. Do highly valuable things always. Don’t get attracted towards bad things, which don’t have real value.

16. God created everything and everybody adding some value to it. All valuable things and persons don’t come to you on their own. Your worth lies in identifying and utilizing them to enhance your value also.