October 8, 2015

KISS




Kiss is a physical expression of one’s emotional attachment, affection, love, admiration or devotion to a living or dead person or entity. Though anybody may kiss anybody or anything for strong or superficial reasons, in any age, in any place, the kisses between or among those who are young and romantically inclined are more intensely observed or discussed by many. For many, a kiss must be offered and received by both the agents involved, in a passionate and sensual manner. Many like kissing those, whom they love or admire deeply for some reasons, but cannot do it. Many enjoy watching or observing others kissing because they are unable to do it in their lives or professions. Mostly young ones involve in the acts, fantasies and discussions of matters related to kisses of different kinds in many countries. Orthodox families, societies, religions and countries consider public kissing a taboo.

Public expression of love

Hugging and kissing are generally accepted acts of public expression of love in many advanced countries like France, the USA and the UK. They take it as a way of expression of their respect or affection to the other. Being influenced by such liberal foreign culture, many ultramodern youth of India, conducted a public campaign of this order a few months ago in some parts of India, against the orders of the local governments. In India, many orthodox families don’t like their children speaking to the creatures of opposite gender in a morally objectionable manner. They believe that girls and boys should not move closely before or after their marriage, except with their life partners or very close relatives. We cannot kiss anybody just like that in any part of India as most Indians disapprove it based on their tradition and culture. In this context, let’s examine the views of modern youth towards kiss.

1. On one hand, we say that we all belong to a huge family. Every race is connected to the other races directly or indirectly, if we check human history scientifically. We are all like one family, in which there are about 720 crore people in different parts of this world. We may not be able to love each of them in our lifetime through kissing or hugging but what is the problem to others if we kiss those few, who are accessible to us in our circle of familiar folks. Why should police, religious cults, governments, interest groups or radical agents of some groups block this free flow of love and affection among human beings, presenting illogical and outdated rationale for their objection?

2. Everybody likes to live enjoying the principles of liberty, equality and fraternity. Revolutions took place in human history when people lost these rights and privileges in their lives due to the tyranny of rulers. Governments have no moral authority to regulate the lives of their subjects. Kiss is just an act of expression of love towards others. Why should anybody make it into a big issue when there are many other burning issues around us across places?

Orthodox orientation

In many countries, the lives and lifestyles of majority are regulated by the rules of governments or doctrines of religions or faiths prevalent there. Orthodox families wish to think and do anything in such manner and system which is acceptable and appreciable to their religious or social cults. They follow their traditions, cultures and norms so strictly that they wish to sacrifice their lives also to uphold the greatness of their religions and faiths. They don’t like everybody enjoying the fruits of freedom and equality but adhering to a set of standards and values set by their ancestors, ages ago, in the form of their scriptures, rituals, ceremonies, literature and taboos. I think Saudi Arabia is just one example for this. There we cannot enjoy freedom as we like because there are certain norms to be understood and followed by all of us. The subjects have to follow what the king orders. There is no place for arguments and justifications. Religions and regional customs play a very strong role in the administration and culture of many societies. Logical thinking and rational debates have no place in this atmosphere. Let’s examine the outlook of these societies towards the ideas of public kissing and hugging and manners of that order.

1. In civilized societies, it is not right to involve in acts of public expression of love because it influences the thoughts and lifestyles of those observing such behaviour. If C observes A and B kissing publicly, C may be tempted to love and kiss A or B for some reasons or be provoked to love or kiss somebody like or unlike A or B. In course of time, C may become mentally sick if he/she fails to find one to love him/her in the manner of A and B. C may attack somebody in near future thinking that society is very bad and so anything or anybody should be grabbed by force. Demonstration effect works here. We feel like doing what we observe intensely around us in public life or through print, electronic or on-line media. Basically every human being has the instincts of a beast. He or she struggles continuously to live like a sensitive and sensible human being, following the customs and orders of his or her family, society, religion or region. Public expression of love is like adding fuel to fire in this context. It is like provoking a tamed animal into becoming a violent beast. We should not celebrate our joy and liberty in such a way, which disturbs the discipline and normalcy of the societies we are associated with. So, one should not express one’s love publicly through kissing or hugging. It should be done privately with the legally acceptable and morally appreciable partners of life only. We should not kiss or hug anybody just like that. We should not live in a fantastic world.

2. There is much difference between a sensual kiss and an affectionate and noble kiss. If a girl and boy kiss each other publicly to satisfy their bodily desires, it is sensual love. It is a social taboo. If we love and kiss children below the age of five or so; old people above 80 or so; pets and so on, nobody gets provoked towards evil thoughts and acts. We can do it publicly if there is no other option and it is highly essential for some reasons. We are expressing our noble affection and sense of attachment towards them this way. Every society needs ideal people always. Seeing such noble acts of love, we can influence the society positively. Idealists promote ideal love always.

The impact of kiss

Leaving aside the debate of whether public kissing or hugging is right or wrong; let’s check if there is enjoyment in the idea and act of kissing at all. How much does it influence us?

1. The intensity of emotions associated with a kiss largely depends on the physical distance of agents involved. We feel like kissing and hugging those, who are highly attractive and inaccessible to us than those, who are very ordinary, repulsive, easily accessible and affordable to us. We like variety here but not the same one always.

2. We easily get attracted towards cute children, lovely pets, attractive creatures of different races and places, inspiring and enticing pieces of art and natural beauty and so on. We cannot kiss and hug all those, whom we love and admire deeply because there are many social taboos and practical problems in almost every region.

3. Kiss becomes more meaningful and memorable when the partners involved are with great values and standards than without. There is much difference between a customer kissing a sex worker amorously and a saint kissing his discipline on a deathbed. We take the first one as superficial and the second as sublime. In what context and with what feelings you are kissing somebody somewhere changes its value as a whole.

4. Kissing your beloved ones, quite regularly, is very important. Your mother, father, life partner, children, close relatives, bosom friends and well-wishers deserve it a lot. God created us to offer and receive love honestly.

5. You can kiss anybody, anywhere, anyway, as long as both of you like it and others are not disturbed out of it.

6. Keep it private and secret as far as possible. When you make it public, it loses its beauty and uniqueness.

7. Formal kisses, without any genuine emotion or passion, are highly avoidable. Don’t become a machine.


8. Accept and follow the customs and norms of the place where you are living. Don’t violate laws anywhere.  

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